Up there on the Billy Bob's website it says this: "We've just been notified that Billy Bob's Texas is the ACM Club of the Year for 2006. This makes our 9th award and our 6th ACM award. We'll be travelling to Las Vegas for the awards show on May 23rd."

Way to go, BB's. Now don't blow your budget at the tables May 23 and start having to bring in people who play a bunch of crap because that's all you can afford. If it gets to that point, my life will turn into the Every Which Way But Loose plot, and I'll have to mess with Billy Bob myself: "Keep It Country is an easy-going trucker and a great fist-fighter. With two friends - Orville, who promotes prize-fights for him, and Clyde, the orang-utan he won on a bet - he roams Fort Worth in search of cold beer, country music and the occasional punch-up. But he is floored himself by a dainty little country and western singer, who gives him the slip when she realises he's getting too serious. Phil, Clyde and Orville set off in pursuit, pestered by bikers."

Well it won't exactly be like that. But there will be fights with orangutans and Clint Eastwood and Burt Reynolds and Dom DeLuise and Jerry Reed and bikers and there will be people thrown through windows and it will be instigated by me.