This is your brain on the Observer
Posted By Blair Lovern in Keep It Country on October 19, 2006
This diagram represents the brain power of Geoff Johnston at the Dallas Observer. Actually, the red dot quantifies it. I'm shaking my head because the white space is what could have been....
Oh, well.
Johnston writes in the latest Observer about the Frisco Bluegrass Festival: "And this isn't just some dusty collection of toothless, jug-tooting hillbillies dribbling Skoal juice all over their coveralls while engaging in dusk-till-dawn farting contests. This here's a class act."
I'm a big bluegrass fan and have never in my life seen a dusty collection of toothless, jug-tooting hillbillies dribbling Skoal juice all over their coveralls while engaging in dusk-till-dawn farting contests like Johnston has. I am sorry Johnston has been exposed to nothing but a dusty collection of toothless, jug-tooting hillbillies dribbling Skoal juice all over their coveralls while engaging in dusk-till-dawn farting contests his whole life, because he's missing out. It's probably why he writes all that crap over there.
Elizabeth Eshelman says:
how 'bout now?
<img height="354" src="http://images.google.com/url?q=http://amranshriners.us/images/photos/hillbillies/hillbillies-c.gif&sig=__p7gadqwAJBYqJCaNx5CbgkC3VhM=" width="450">
Verified
3 years, 1 month agoLink to this comment | Suggest removal
Blair Lovern says:
great- that's me right in the very front. I told you to burn that pic.
Staff
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strident says:
for those who don't know, geoff johnston, while still a mammoth idiot, also graces us with his incredible alter-ego, savanteous q. malmsteen, and the wonderful back catalog that comes with it. do check it out. for ships and giggles, if nothing else.
Anonymous
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Mike Orren says:
I believe this is of what strident speaks:
http://www.savanteous.com/
Staff
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Sam Machkovech says:
Hold up just a second. First off, this article was in the paper's Night & Day section, which targets a non-music audience and promotes general entertainment options around the metroplex. It's not a piece of music criticism, and furthermore, to that target audience, jokes about rednecks that contrast the content of the event might gasp entice those who actually think of country/bluegrass in such simple terms to rethink and attend.
Second off, and much more importantly, are you really taking something seriously that talks about "dusk-till-dawn farting contests"? If he'd attached that term to any generic music audience (particularly the Poor David's Pub crowd, in my opinion), that would still be funny. Geoff is one of the few solid local music writers left there, anyway, so be careful what you wish for.
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Blair Lovern says:
1st rule of being funny, Sam, is: Be funny. I know what Geoff was trying to do. He's tried many times....
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Mike Orren says:
Didn't know that The Observer had such precise audience segmentation betwixt and between its various sections. Impressive.
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dvorkinax says:
Hmmm...the hills are alive with the sound of bed wetters and people who get easily offended by opinionated articles. I especially thought the part about the white people hailing cabs and getting better jobs due to the forces of the shadowing government. More people should be funny like this.
Anonymous
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Chad Jones says:
Be careful what you wish for, indeed.
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Blair Lovern says:
Now that I've put on my Depend Belted Shields with extra absorbency, I find Geoff much more funny.
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Elizabeth Eshelman says:
how 'bout now? <img src="http://amranshriners.us/images/photos/hillbillies/Hillbillies2.jpg">
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Blair Lovern says:
I'm more partial to pro wrestler Hillbilly Jim even though he screwed over Roddy Piper back in the day.
<br><img src="http://www.bodyslamming.com/wwe/pics/hillbilly.jpg">
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Chad Jones says:
If the strategy is to invoke stereotypes in an attempt to refute them, maybe Geoff could also write about other hilarious things like: "*you don't have to wear a kilt at The Killdares' show*" or maybe even "*you don't have to be black and from New Orleans to like jazz!*"
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Elizabeth Eshelman says:
lol - wait - Alan isn't black?!
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