Alan Peppard has the enviable/detestable job of covering Dallas high society for the Dallas Morning News, and is one of the few columnists they haven't yet eradicated. (They don't like columnists because they think columnists have too much power, and they resent it when someone can wield any kind of power over their heads.) That Alan is smart/witty and yet has managed to withstand the beating you get at that place is a freaking miracle. OK, there's my spiel on Alan Peppard.

But Alan, this lead

"It's presidential mating season, and Dallas is like a girl with a bad reputation. All the White House aspirants are showing up at our door to take us on a quick date."

...ouch ouch ouch. And yet. Maybe it's so bad that it's good.