I received an unexpected correspondence today. Since the author chose to cross-publish to the Interwebs, I will respond in kind:
My dearest Alibastard:
I was enjoying my luncheon martini today when my electronic assistant purred demurely to inform me of the delivery of an electronic epistle. Imagine my surprise to find that you were the correspondent -- the revelation induced a prodigous spit-take. (Please tell Mrs. A that I'll pick up the dry cleaning bill...again.)
Not to say that your correspondence was unwelcome -- what with the holiday upon us, people are staying close to home, leaving the local branches of the Intertubes with a dearth of lost kittens and girl scout bake sales for me to purloin and turn into "news." So your letter provides me with some preciously needed "content" to foist off on the hoi polloi.
Further, I am humbled that you would take the time to recognize our work. I am well familiar with your recent analysis on such worthy media empires as Envy, "Girls Gone Nutz" and My Two Dads. With the Thrifty Nickel, Buddy and the special holiday double-issue of D Entomology criminally unnoticed by thine eye, I can't believe that you even have us on your radar screen.
Although I have gleefully taken you up on your offer to use your kind remarks as a critic's blurb, I must take issue with a couple of points you raised:
The correct name, as the marketing folk tell me, is Pegasus News Aggre-Great!™. We feel that is far more indicative of the bland complacency we seek to invoke in the populace.
Also, I am insulted at your suggestion that we only have six regular readers. You, sir, make seven.
Your further remarks are the highest praise we have received to date, and certainly stand on their own.
My hat is off to you sir. Please let me know if we may ever be of service.
XOXO
Michael G. Orren
Proprietor
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