According to a piece in the Houston Chronicle (jealous much?), President Bush recently commented at a mayoral gathering in DC that Tom Leppert would be his next mayor. While Leppert and others have warned against taking this as a sure sign of Bush's post-White House living plans, we in the media prefer to jump to conclusions.

Oh God, oh God, but where, where in Dallas, Mr. President? There are tons of new developments fitting a king, dictator, or even yourself and Laura. I'd stay away from the McMansions, if possible, however. That will just make people think you lack creativity and are only interested in expansiveness and big money purchases. Maybe you could improve your post-presidency image by moving to South Dallas and using your vast wealth to revitalize some of the downtrodden areas. Maybe build a homeless shelter? Haha, oh no, sir, you wouldn't have to live there. I hear White Rock Lake is nice and the area's bungalows are charming. I know presidents enjoy jogging so much after they've been Commander in Chief, so the lake would be a good area for that. Then there's Deep Ellum. I'm sure a few SUPs could be denied a.s.a.p. to open up some space for you. Of course, if you are looking for the glamorous life, you could get a penthouse apartment in the Victory Park area. Then the twins would have easy access to Ghostbar to hang out with Paris, TO, Carrie, Romo, Jessica, and others with impeccable taste in entertainment.

In any case, Mr. President, though you have lived here before, please allow us to welcome you (back). Oh, and here's an added bonus. We've got this lovely little thing called the Castle Doctrine for when your pal Dick Cheney shows up. I'm sure he'll make good use of it.