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My Left Foot (not)

Square Pegs

Published: July 10, 2008

O.K., I just can't sit on this one any longer. Nor can I stand on it. (RIMSHOT!!)

In case you weren't aware, there have been a rather larger-than-average number of severed feet turning up - in tennis shoes - off the west coast of Canada. I mean, a single one would be an anomaly, right? But since August of 2007, a total of five feet - the last one on June 16 - have washed ashore. Significantly (?), only the last foot - the fifth one - is a lefty.

Before jumping to conclusions (ouch!), it should be stated that the feet do not appear to have been cut, chopped, sawn or otherwise manually separated from their (presumably) previously-appended bodies; rather, according to Canadian forensic folk, "It appears that these feet have naturally disarticulated from the body through a natural process." Presumably, then, the sneakers in which the feet were sheathed acted to buoy them to the surface of the sea, and thence onto the shoreline of our Great White Neighbor to the North.

Adding yet another cushiony layer of weirdness to this whole bizarre story is the find on Tuesday (July 8) of another shoe-clad foot, on a beach in - wait for it - southern SWEDEN.

In a clear demonstration of the power of language to convey unintentional humor, the article notes: "... investigators do not yet know if that foot is connected to the five feet found in Canada." I'm guessing not.

Published: July 10, 2008

Comments

Pavel Lishin Verified

I'm glad we're no longer tip-toeing around this issue.

1 year, 4 months ago ( Link to this comment | Suggest removal )

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