Click Here to read Mario Tarradell's review of the new Los Lonely Boys album Sacred

Now I begin my rant...

Q: What do the Los Lonely Boys, Carlos Santana, Jimi Hendrix, and Stevie Ray Vaughan all have in common?

A: You can find them all in the music section at your local Walmart. The difference is the Los Lonely Boys will actually be there in person playing a damn concert. Why? Because while the term "sellout" gets used a lot, there is nothing like playing in a damn Walmart to prove that you are the uber-sellouts.

But how unfair is it to compare any artist to Carlos Santana or Jimi Hendrix or Stevie Ray Vaughan? Well its completely unfair. So why the hell would Mario Tarradell try to describe the guitar playing of Los Lonely Boys guitarist, Henry Garza, as "a combination of Carlos Santana and Jimi Hendrix filtered through Stevie Ray Vaughan." NO! NO! NO! Why would Mario Tarradell possibly make a statement like that? The only reason I can fathom is that he thinks Henry Garza is really really good at guitar. And I'm guessing he has heard that Carlos Santana, Jimi Hendrix, and Stevie Ray Vaughan are also really really good at guitar. Yet, I'm pretty convinced he has never heard any of them actually play guitar because their style is nothing like Henry Garza's! Yes, I'm upset by this.

Oh but I'm just getting started.

Another line that I didn't like: "They bring the three-piece sizzle of their stage performances to the compact disc. And if you haven't yet witnessed their soulful noise in concert, what are you waiting for? "

Hmmm, I was gonna go to a show so that I could see the full extent of their sizzle until I realized that they were playing AT WALMART!

Then this line just pissed me off: "Throughout 13 tracks, all written or co-written by the band, we get the Boys' hearty, signature bass, drums and electric guitar stew."

Why in the name of all things musical do the Los Lonely Boys get to claim the combination of bass, drums, and guitar as their signature anything? Mario, please tell me that you can find at least a few bands that combined the use of these instruments before the Los Lonely Boys. I know you have trouble finding female country singers in Texas, but come on, this is ridiculous...

BUT THIS IS WHAT UPSETS ME MORE THAN ANYTHING ELSE...

Mario Tarradell continues to try and draw parallels between Los Lonely Boys and Santana. He isn't the only one that does this, but I'm so unbelievably sick of every single Latin group that has any elements of rock being compared to Santana. I'm more upset by Henry Garza's guitar playing being compared to that of Carlos, especially since Carlos has one of the most distinct guitar sounds of all time (and it doesn't sound even close to that of Henry Garza). But listen to me right now....Los Lonely Boys is a very talented pop group. If you like pop, and want to catch a concert that allows you to simultaneously shop for a 2-Person Inflatable Sit-on-Top Kayak With Paddles, then you will probably love tonight's Los Lonely Boys concert. But DON'T expect to see the second coming of Santana.

I'm gonna go kick something....

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PS You shouldn't blame Los Lonely Boys for not living up to this ridiculous review. If you generally enjoy pop, then you will most likely enjoy their music