Saturday, December 16, 2006 , Updated 1:00 p.m., December 18, 2006
Calling all Rangers and Mets fans and anyone else - we have a developing situation
Since everyone is throwing furniture in the comments section of a previous story of mine, there is no way in hell I am going to drop this one in a disaster area. Let me assure you: if you liked the first one, you'll just adore this one.
Alrighty, since everyone is throwing furniture in the comments section of this story, there is no way in I am going to drop this one in a disaster area. I've got a nice cold Dr Pepper beside me here, which is made in its purest form in the glorious state of Texas, which is home of the best third place team in the AL West, the Texas Rangers.
clmetsfan brought up some excellent comments in the first story. (Good luck finding them among the riff-raff.) If you aren't up to speed on everything, go to the link above and bring a gas mask and some body armor. Anyway, I commend clmetsfan on his response. I single that person out because he was about the only one who made any sense. Let me attend to his concerns and more, even though I know this is such a total waste of my time because a great many of you Mets people don't care. But I like you Mets people, I really do. Plus I want to give anyone else who may read this some insight on what was behind that evil piece of filth, which doesn't deserve a spot even in the Lowest Circle of Hell. Some enterprising demon maintenance worker needs to build a special circle under that one - and only just big enough for that first story, so it can be the Devil's toilet.
This may shock you but I had no self-serving goal in writing the original "piece." And if we're going to deal with semantics, by the way, let me concentrate on one pet peeve of mine immediately: I am not a fan of the word "piece" for Internet or any other media story. I did not carve a statue. I am not a pretentious writer who sits high in a tower, so tall that one cannot tell if the color is ivory any more. You know how many people in the media I've met like this during my career in this field? Far too many.
Here's what I did: I wrote a few paragraphs that upset Mets people, and for that I do not apologize. In fact, I and these Texas Rangers fans below salute you for allowing us a fun time reading the comments.
We just got back from the annual New York Mets Get A Grip Foundation and Food Safety Expo, held every year on Long Island in North Patchogue - I wish you all had been there. We were so close, how come none of you called?
Would what I have written qualified to be published in The New York Times? HAHA! Does anyone even have to answer that? What about Flashing & Drip Edge Today!, America's #Damn 1 leading trade publication for synthetic roofing underlayment? (See previous response.) No, what I write will not be found in mainstream media, because we at Pegasus are not mainstream media. I have spent the bulk of my career writing for mainstream newspapers and magazines. Let me tell you a little secret about writing for the mainstream media: It's kinda dull. Same thinking, same writing. It's so safe. So boring. I rarely see anyone stir it up, especially in sports, which is ridiculous because as you sports fans know, we can get very passionate about our teams.
I dare say more than just a few of you will think back on my rant that boiled your blood more than most other "Hey, uh, Barry Zito might sign with the Mets today, then again he might not" stories out there. In fact, here are 1,780 of them for your reading pleasure. Some will be informative, most will just rehash what everyone else is saying.
At Pegasus News we are a professional bunch. We work very hard. I'm proud of our staff. We also have fun where we work. If what I wrote pissed you off to no end, that is something you'll have to work on, not me. That little story was written in about 10 minutes (We can tell!) Exactly, and written in the classic "screw you style" that is under patent consideration for me in the U.S. Department of B.S. You take it for what it's worth. I do not pretend to be anything other than what I am. I wish I had the time to go into great length with so many stories we produce on the site. We're just not able to do that regularly yet with our staff, which is one reason why we have a terrific network of contributors who are passionate about the stories they write and can take the time to add depth. You want to read a little more about what I wrote about Barry Zito earlier? Go here. It was linked in the other story, as well. That one took about 11.6 minutes to write. I would love to get into a major baseball discussion with readers. That sort of thing will have to develop over time because I do not have the time to devote myself solely to baseball, especially in one afternoon. I love the game of baseball. I have written about it, watched it, studied it and played it most of my life. So I look forward to many more baseball discussions and I thank you for your concerns, I will assure you that I will do all I can with this matter and that I am working hard on it every day, so do not hesitate to contact me to discuss the issue further. (I also worked for a member of Congress.)
I am not a Mets fan. I'm also not a Mets hater. I like to see players and teams do well, in general. One of my favorite parts of the game of baseball is player development. Any team that squanders its resources (my opinion) through a presumably long-term, nine-figure contract for an above average pitcher (my opinion) is making the wrong decision (my opinion.)
Don't come here, Mets people, looking for sympathy for your team. Our audience is not composed of New York Mets fans, or Cincinnati Reds fans or Rancho Cucamonga Quakes fans. We write exclusively about what happens in and around Dallas and Fort Worth. The big dailies here cannot make that claim. Even this story is stepping outside the boundary lines, and I'm a little wary of that. But if in any of my stories you ask a fair question, I will give you a fair answer. Maybe not all of the time, we are busy people. Be patient with us. One guy in the last story asked me to answer five questions. When I didn't respond after a few minutes he commented again and wondered where I was. Look, I've got stuff to do during the business day. Don't other people have stuff to do, too? No one here is going to ignore you if you are reasonable or only slightly kooky. If you contribute to the discourse intelligently and passionately, we want that. We crave that. If you want to call me an ass, call me an ass. But have a reason. Expect me to dish it right back in your face, or most likely ignore you, if you have nothing to back up your points other than "you are an ass." If I make a mistake, call me on it. I made a mistake in the previous story. It was purposefully not corrected. That also keeps us in check.
We don't use stories at Pegasus as stopping points. They are starting points. You will rarely (probably never) find similar exchanges between writers and readers at any other media outlet. The stories here should be thought more like conversations. I write something, you write something back. We don't do monologues.
Getting back to semantics and the original Mets story: I made a principle point multiple times about winning championships. That is the reason to play sports professionally, as I see it. I don't think I am in much disagreement here with you Mets people with that point. How do I know this? Because you Mets people swooped in here to defend your team. HOW DARE YOU CALL MY TEAM A LOSER, YOU LOSER!
Obviously you believe a team should be on a course for winning a championship, correct? A team's goal should not be like, say, the squandering Cubs, who haven't won a World Series since the Model T puttered down Michigan Avenue, right? That's disgusting. Cub fans shouldn't be lovable losers, they should be pissed off and demand a turnaround. Look what the Red Sox did. They finally got a front office that cared. Why did that take 86 years? Most people do not live to be 86, and this team screwed around for so long that a portion of their fans never ever got to see their team hoist a trophy. How sad is that? It's beyond sad, is what it is. It's pathetic.
It is a joke that the Rangers have been in Arlington since 19 and 72 and have not won a World Series. Next season will be the team's 35th anniversary. How long did it take the expansion Marlins to win two World Series championships? This is infuriating if you are a Rangers fan.
I think we're all in agreement that this should be the goal: to construct a winning ballclub.
Your team won 97 games last year, Mets people. You should be looking forward to this coming season so you can kick some ass, right? I know I would be if my favorite team was as good as your favorite team. Ah, hell, I am so jealous thinking of your team! I find it hard to walk sometimes. I get up from my chair after resting my weak body and then I start to shake and see dancing blue and orange fairies who look like Casey Stengel in the face, but are otherwise dressed in a tight jumpsuit like they were in ABBA - and specifically like the dude on the left:
Mets people, you are The Contender now, just like the reality show. You aren't The Latin Snake. You don't get the Sergio Mora glory yet, sorry.
But, hey, guess what? You've got Sly Stalone in there with you, or Mickey, if you're into the classics. Willie Randolph is no idiot. He knows what he's doing. You just keep slugging that freezer meat with your bare hands and one day you might be on top of the world, and we'll all throw you a big fat party and know that the rest of the universe can go to hell because the Mets are better than everyone everywhere on all planets and star systems, not just ours, which technically means nothing unless you are an actual Met - and even then, in the grand scheme of life, IT'S A @#$%! BASEBALL GAME!
Pssst. Guess what else? I don't think the Rangers are at The Latin Snake level yet, either. Oh, but one day Texas will rise. And that team will STRIKE like a black mamba, and you Mets people will have to take an antidote shot from a nurse who looks kinda like Ron Washington, but you're too woozy to be sure. But don't fret. The nurse will have mercy on you, as she sits next to your bed, gently holding your hand as you watch the Texas victory parade on TV that we will start planning in Dallas next Thursday (inside joke.)
So, to summarize AGAIN: when your team wins the World Series then you will be a winner. Right now, your team is not a winner, Mets people.
Ouch, the sting!
You are a loser when it comes to World Series trophies during the past generation. That is all. Nothing more, nothing less. If this is an impossible point to comprehend, I cannot make it any simpler. You may lead meaningful lives, outside of being a Mets fan. Maybe you're a teacher or doctor or artist or social worker. Maybe you touch the lives of others by doing God's work in ways that may never be fully appreciated. You should be proud of yourselves. You're a good father, a good mother, a good brother, a good sister, a good jigsaw puzzle assembler (I'm talking like a really kick-ass puzzle), a hard worker. You make this country stronger every day. I am not being silly here, I speak the truth: Thanks for doing what you do.
But until that goofy looking Mr. Met mascot rides on a float down Broadway with the rest of the team and The Rockettes, and there's so much confetti in the air that it's like being in static - your team will be, ah, a loser.
Being a "winner" in the context of this, the previous and any future sporting story by me never included and/or never will include the peripheral BS that Mets people have implied, misread, misquoted and misinterpreted because they freaked out over a headline.
How many times do I have to say I do not hate the Mets before anyone comprehends that sentence?
How many times do I have to say that I don't think the Rangers are winners, either, when it comes to winning professional championships?
How many times do I have to say I don't think the Rangers are better than the Mets, as it stands right now?
How many times do I have to say I don't think the Rangers could beat the Mets in the World Series, as it stands right now? I think someone asked me which team, the Rangers or Mets, has a better chance to get to the World Series 3-4 years from now. How the hell can anyone answer that with a serious face? The Mets won 71 games in 2004. The Rangers won 89 that year. See how things have changed in two seasons?
When did I defend the dumb decisions of Tom Hicks? I've got a big Fathead of Chan Ho Park sitting behind my desk, right? Give me a damn break.
I do not commit the sin of omission here. I write what I mean and mean what I write. If there is a point to be brought up, I will bring it up. I do not keep my really good thoughts in a fancy gold treasure chest in the closet.
Through the course of the day, understand that we have other parts of our job to do. I can't sit here and write this kind of response to everyone who reads what I write. Many comments in the first story were beyond ridiculous, and I wonder if some of you've ever been told "Hey, you're ridiculous" ever in your life. The comments in that category stand for themselves.
I leave you with this: if I could only have one wish, it would be that you Mets people get Barry Zito for nine years and $253 million. Ridiculous, huh?
Thank you for participating in the previous discussion. I've thrown you more than enough raw flesh. So why don't you rabid beasts come and get it.
The story has been edited to remove a descriptor of Mr. Met that some readers found offensive. Blair did not mean to disparage any group (other than the designers of Mr. Met), and we're sorry about the choice of words. --Mike Orren