Monday, July 10, 2006 , Updated
Movie Review part deux: Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Man’s Chest
Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Man's Chest
Captain Jack Sparrow is caught up in another tangled web of supernatural intrigue. Although the curse of the Black Pearl has been lifted, an even more terrifying threat looms over its captain and scurvy crew: it turns out that Jack owes a blood debt to the legendary Davy Jones, Ruler of the Ocean Depths, who captains the ghostly Flying Dutchman, which no other ship can match in speed and stealth. Unless the ever-crafty Jack figures a cunning way out of this Faustian pact, he will be cursed to an afterlife of eternal servitude and damnation in the service of Jones. This startling development interrupts the wedding plans of Will Turner and Elizabeth Swann, who once again find themselves thrust into Jack's misadventures, leading to escalating confrontations with sea monsters, very unfriendly islanders, flamboyant soothsayer Tia Dalma and even the mysterious appearance of Will's long-lost father, Bootstrap Bill. Meanwhile, ruthless pirate hunter Lord Cutler Beckett of the East India Trading Company sets his sights on retrieving the fabled "Dead Man's Chest." According to legend, whoever possesses the Dead Man's Chest gains control of Davy Jones, and Beckett intends to use this awesome power to destroy every last Pirate of the Caribbean once and for all. For times are changing on the high seas, with businessmen and bureaucrats becoming the true pirates--and freewheeling, fun-loving buccaneers like Jack and his crew threatened with extinction.
Source: Cinema Source
Let's get one thing straight: Without Johnny Depp's brilliant reinvention of the classic pirate character as an effete rock star, Pirates of the Caribbean: The Curse of the Black Pearl would have bombed just like every other pirate movie Hollywood has produced since 1940.
Jerry Bruckheimer apparently felt it had more to do with his "blow things up to the strains of the same synthesized Hans Zimmer score since 1988" approach to filmmaking, because he and director Gore Verbinski didn't change a thing and once again lean on Depp to carry Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Man's Chest. Alas, there will be no Oscar nomination for Mr. Depp this time.
Part two of this supposed three-part series begins with the nuptials of Will Turner (Orlando Bloom) and Elizabeth Swann (Keira Knightly) interrupted by a pair of arrest warrants issued by Lord Cutler Beckett, the ruthless head of the East India Company, for helping Captain Jack Sparrow (Depp) escape at the end of the first film. Turns out what Beckett really wants is for Turner to acquire Captain Jack's magic compass so he can find the same thing Mr. Sparrow is looking for: the chest that contains the still-beating heart of Davy Jones, a ghastly combination of man and cephalopod who lords over the souls of men lost at sea.
It's not explained how the CEO of the East India Company knows of Davy Jones' chest or why the possessor of its contents commands a horrific sea creature known as the Kraken; but Captain Jack has a much more important reason for finding it than controlling shipping lanes on the high seas. Sparrow owes a blood debt of eternal indentured servitude to Davy Jones, and if he gets the chest, he can renegotiate the terms of their agreement.
Naturally, adventure and comedy ensue as Capt. Jack et al set off on another quest to find whatever it is that will undo whatever it is that needs to be undone.
The special effects in Dead Man's Chest are some of the best work ever to come out of ILM. Ironically for a pirate movie, however, it's the action scenes on land which are the most clever and exciting, while the ones at sea are so cluttered with said effects that they're hard to follow.
So is the plot, for that matter. Well, not so much hard to follow as to end. Dead Man's Chest suffers from a severe case of cashitis: It's too self-aware that there's even more money to be made by Pirates of the Caribbean: At World's End, due for release next summer. Ted Elliott and Terry Rossio lost control of their script during the planning for Part III and forgot to finish Part II, dragging out the second act interminably while disguising its lack of resolution with fast, furious and, admittedly, exciting action. Some of the supporting characters from the first movie show up so far along in this one that it took me a few minutes to remember who they were.
Every story, including those that are part of a series, needs a beginning, middle and end (for example, the Star Wars episodes, even the bad ones). Probably because of the nonstop action and whiz-bang effects, audiences won't care that Dead Man's Chest is an incomplete remake of Curse of the Black Pearl. I, on the other hand, kept wondering when the film was going to wrap up, only to suddenly find myself staring at the credits 2½ hours later after a very puzzling pair of final scenes. (Either I missed something in biology class, or dead ain't what it used to be. Then again, these films are basically bad ghost stories disguised as action movies, so what do I know?)
Unfortunately, not even Johnny Depp, impressive as always, can resuscitate this convoluted, nonsensical treasure hunt, which apparently needs another 2½ hours to locate its own conclusion.
Alas, Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Man's Chest is dead in the water, matey.
