Zayra Alvarez Hanging By Her Pleather

by Mike Orren

Advice from Navarro: “My recommendation for you is to get started on a solo career right now.”

First, the usual disclaimer: I'm no fan of Rock Star: Supernova, but I reviewed the first episode (especially local girl Zayra Alvarez) on a lark. The first outing drove a ton of traffic, so like any whoorish publisher, I insisted that we keep it up. Caroline gave me a nice break one week, but that wasn't enough. Considering the redundancy of our posts, I even offered the Dallas Observer's Merrit Martin a tag-team coverage deal, but her so-called "alt"-weekly corporate overlords don't roll like that. But never fear...

I think the end is in sight.

Zayra was early in the show tonight, appearing in a skintight pleatherette-ish blue spacesuit that looked straight out of Barbarella. And although it reminded Tommy Lee of getting clawed apart in a bedroom romp, her rendition of Blondie's "Call Me," left everyone cold.

Dave Navarro led the post-mortem off with the ultimate kiss-off: “My recommendation for you is to get started on a solo career right now.”

Fortunately, Zayra has already done just that, and long before Supernova ground out its first retread lick. Her problem on RS:S is not a lack of talent, but that even (especially) the most talented multilayered pop / latina vocalist has no business fronting a bunch of aging metalheads. Seriously-- check out the songs on her MySpace page. This gal's got chops of the sort that would be wasted on Supernova.

So let us not weep for Zayra -- but let's not vote for her either. The band clearly wants her gone, so who are we to quibble? Plus, I'd much rather catch Zayra on a local stage than suffer through two more nights of this drivel.

If you want a tragic figure in this melodrama, shed a tear for Houston's Dilana Robichaux. The show has become a virtual 15-week coronation for her -- a well-deserved one. Tonight she even added an extreme edge to Cindi Lauper's "Time After Time," proving that her earlier performances were not flukes of song selection. She's a shoe-in to be stuck on a bus with Tommy Lee for the next year.

Zayra wins.

The elimination show is tomorrow. Unless the voters rally, Zayra's done.

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