Top Chef: Episode seven

by Teresa Gubbins , April Powell

The judges liked shrimp and grits from Dallas chef Tre Wilcox. Tasty, maybe, but is it really the kind of thing you want after a night out?

Sara packs up her knives.

Staffers April Powell and Teresa Gubbins play "Ebert and Roper" on Episode 7 of Wednesday night's Top Chef series, in which the contestants are called upon to serve a late-night post-club snack menu, starring Dallas chefs Tre Wilcox of Abacus and Casey Thompson of Shinsei.

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TG: I liked the losing team's menu. I could not believe Tre's bacon-wrapped shrimp and grits won. Who wants shrimp and grits after you drink? Seems like he does shrimp every week.

AP: Guest judge Ted Allen may think that bacon and shrimp appeals to everyone, but not me. My husband, however -- throw in the grits and he'd have licked the plate.

TG: After drinking, I'd want sliders. Sliders and a milkshake.

AP: Where do you stand on the milkshake debate? I've never really heard of putting ice cubes in a milkshake.

TG: For that alone, Sara deserved to lose. Meanwhile, Coldstone is the worst product ever. It ain't ice cream.

AP: Never had it, but it looks kind of blobby, the way they mush it on the counter. Not particularly appealing.

TG: Mix-ins do not equal ice cream. I love that Padma called Coldstone's tasteless white base a "cream” flavor, as in, "What toppings would pair well with Coldstone's cream flavor?" What a joke.

AP: Sponsors must be appeased, I guess. Howie’s non-Cuban Cuban was a big failure. What was he thinkin?

TG: Do you think you'd have any trouble working with Howie? I don't mind him. But I am OK with arrogant jerks.

AP: I don't have issues with assertive personalities, so I don't think I'd have a problem. But then I can cook in heels, too.

TG: Yes would you believe the whining about the outfits -- both Casey and the loser, Sara. If you can't cook in the outfits, then don't go out to bars in them.

AP: She really didn't handle the disappointment well, did she?

TG: I am trying to figure out why Ted Allen, the ex Queer Guy, has become the uber food judge. He's all over the Food channel. He seems to know a lot about nothing. Except, as you said, that people like bacon.

AP: So do dogs. There, I'm an expert.