Thursday Morning Cupcheck - Why We Rule and Others Drool

by Todd Maternowski

Top of the morning, hockey fans! Last week we went over the Five Immutable Laws of the Road, rules that helped the Dallas Stars land a whopping 8 of 12 possible points on their recent East Coast road trip (no need to thank me, fellows). I was planning on dedicating this column to the Stars' Holiday Gift Guide (for $250, you can play a game of chess with Sergei Zubov.... for an extra $4500, he'll let you win), but in light of recent events I was forced to change direction quicker than a Joe Thornton no-look behind-the-back pass from the boards. I'm talking about something called change of perspective that can occur several times over the course of an 82-game season. With the 2007-08 NHL season already 33% over, it's time to step back, take a breath and make some unfounded sweeping generalizations with largely no basis in reality.

Not quite a month ago, the Stars were sitting ugly at 7-7-3, having just lost 5-0 to Phoenix and 6-5 to the Kings. They looked old, slow, worn out, and incapable of stopping a beach ball from going in. The AAC was emptier than Elvis' tomb, and even Tom Hicks had to stand up and take notice. Yesterday's game notwithstanding, the Stars are now amazingly awesome arbiters of agony, perfectly pounding the puck like a perplexed prisoner, oozing outstanding offensive output on orders from Otto. What has changed?

Back Then We Sucked Because we apparently had a craptacular GM whose negative managerial style had affected all corners of the organization. As a ten-year war-scarred veteran of the corporate world myself, I know there is no truer line spoken than in Office Space when Peter says that bad managers only motivate employees enough to do the absolute minimum necessary to keep their jobs. While I'm still not convinced Doug Armstrong was a bad GM, there was no question whatsoever that certain Stars were mailing it in every single night --Modano, Boucher, Daley, Jokinen to name a few-- while some others seemed unmotivated to play in critical situations during certain games --Zubov, Morrow, Norstrom, Turco. A few seemed to thrive --Ribeiro, Hagman, Niskanen-- but even with poor leadership, some employees still give it their best (I was once one of those jive suckas. I feel your pain, Hagman. Suck-up.)

But Now We Rule And Others Drool Because we fired his ass!! Under Brett Hull and Les Jackson (Bres Huckson? Lesbret Jall? These sound like made-up random World of Warcraft names lame-o's make up on the fly), the Stars have gone 8-3-1 and seem far more energized and happy. Whether it's Hull's roguish charm or the terrifying Jackson's barbaric taste for human flesh, something has lit a fire under these players to make them go from Bloated Gas Giants to Celestial Beings of Pure Light in an Andromeda minute.

Back Then We Sucked Because we couldn't stop a puck to save our lives. Unlike previous Stars teams, which had trouble scoring but were lights-out effective when up by two goals or more at any point in the game, the early-season suckwads were incapable of playing defense late in games. No lead was safe, and when teams can't close out a 3-0 or 4-0 game, it usually means they're mentally not in it. Goaltending was a huge issue too, with Smith not up to his All-Rookie form and Turco playing up-and-down, making spectacular saves just minutes before letting in total softies, eerily similar to his playoff performances against Colorado. The Stars were only too eager to crumble like cookies in those series, and any hint of aggression from the other team usually resulted in a Stars loss early in the season.

But Now We Rule And Others Drool Because the GM, apparently, was giving direct orders for the Stars to go into Wuss Mode late in games. What other logical explanation could there be? It is true, that everything rises and falls on leadership. But normally for a hockey team, it starts with the head coach, who influences the assistant coaches, who influence the team captains, who influence the real leaders on the team. The GM is rarely part of that food chain, and before his firing I was all blamed-out from the evil glares I was sending to Tippett, Dahlen, and Modano (I know Morrow and Zubov deserve just as much, but I just can't bring myself to bring the hammer down on those guys. I am but an insignificant speck compared to their infinite awesomeness. They are like unto Hockey Gods). Could Armstrong have been as terrible a GM as John Hart? Perish the thought! But it certainly seems that the motivation, leadership and ability to hold a lead are back.

Back Then We Sucked Because our offense was seemingly driven by random acts of lucky scoring, because we lacked a true goal scoring sniper. Stars fans were desperate for someone, anyone, who could put a puck into the net. No one was safe from trade talks, even the half-dozen Stars with no-trade clauses in their contracts. Impatient Stars fans would throw out names like Turco, Morrow, Boucher, Jokinen for anyone with a Russian last name or 30 goals and a -30 plus/minus. Even Doug Armstrong, reportedly, got in the act in his final days, asking GMs around the league what would it take to get their untouchable offensive point-producers.

But Now We Rule And Others Drool Because we stuck to our guns and kept the guys we had. Ironically, the Stars are scoring 2.8 goals a game since Armstrong left, exactly how much they were scoring before. To rub it in even further, in the entire Western Conference, only Detroit has scored more goals than the Stars. This, despite the fact that we have no single player like Kovalchuk, Crosby or Ovechkin (all of whom, incidentally, play on teams with worse offenses than the Stars). How can this be? Don't you need a single sniper scoring 50 goals a year to have an offense? Only if you believe the league's ridiculous NBA-style marketing. Real teams play like teams, roll out four well-balanced lines and get scoring from seemingly unlikely sources. The Stars don't need to trade for a sniper, they already have some of the league's best snipers --just witness their ridiculous shootouts, where the players' offensive skills are on full display. Name one other team in the league (other than the Red Wings, probably) that can put out a half-dozen shooters with ludicrous jaw-dropping shootout moves like the Stars can with Zubov, Jokinen, Ribeiro, Modano, Hagman, and Miettinen. I will say this until I'm blue in the face, but there is no NHL team that doesn't have a Cup-winning roster right now -- even bad teams have enough talent to win the Cup any given year. The real question is never talent, it's about playing well together, sacrificing egos and coming through in tough moments. The Stars have been remarkably good for a decade because they were willing to put individual accolades aside and throw in for the team concept. It'd be nice if their trade-happy fans did the same. (Although, if there's an idiot GM out there who's willing to trade Zubov for Kevin Hatcher straight-up, you gotta make that trade, before they wise up)

Well, that should pretty much sum up what has gone down in Celestial Towne these past 12 games. Tune in next week when I ask the Stars what they want for Christmas (Mike Ribeiro: a healthy Jere Lehtinen): the answers may surprise you.