The ultimate in Cotton Bowl-pickin’ nonsense

by Blair Lovern

Reading some of this mishmash, I feel like I'm fighting in a quicksand pit of dumbness. It is so hard as hell to get out. I swear it is.

Reading bizarre Cotton Bowl information - like this utterly confusing DMN column and now this Unfair Park blog post - I feel like I'm fighting in a quicksand pit of dumbness. It is so hard as hell to get out. I swear it is.

I scanned comments by mayoral candidate Darrell Jordan on that above-linked Unfair Park blog post, regarding the Cotton Bowl leaving the Cotton Bowl. Jordan really wanted that dome over the Cotton Bowl, if you recall, which apparently would have prevented the Cotton Bowl from leaving the Cotton Bowl.

How much would that almost-10-year dome idea have cost? On the low end it was reported in 1998 as $130 million, $140 million, $150 million. In 1999 Jordan said, oops, it was going to cost about $250 million. Adjusted for inflation, that's about $300,621,266.34 today. How much did Arlington taxpayers pay for the new Cowboys stadium? $325 million.

Oh, but taxpayers wouldn't have paid $250 million or $300 million for a domed Cotton Bowl. It was going to be a private venture.

Ah, yes. Private. And how much money did Jordan have committed from private investors? About $28 million, he said. Was that money in the bank, or was that money people said would be in the bank? Were private investors beating down the door to build this dome? Seems to me there was about $222 million ($272 inflation adjusted million) in loose change under the couch cushions somewhere.

Oh, but then Dallas wanted the 2012 Olympics and private investors were going to build a $265 million, 80,000 seat Olympic Park in Fair Park to replace the Cotton Bowl. So Dallas told Jordan to please wait on the dome.

Dallas didn't get the Olympics, if you didn't hear. And private investors didn't restart beating down Jordan's door that they weren't beating down a few years earlier. In fact, he says no one has seriously brought up the dome to him since 1998. Nonetheless, in 2006 the Observer called the plan that no sane business person liked, a "good idea."

Then the Cowboys said they wanted a new stadium. And then Dallas said, even though we found private investors who'd spend $265 million on a one-time summer event and a handful of college games each year, screw you, Cowboys! We're not going to bother trying to get a 30-year NFL team lease. We're not going to bother asking voters if they want to pay for a stadium. We're not going to bother with a possible Super Bowl and whatever else wants to come to town, plus a pretty darn good chance for business redevelopment (hey there, big tax collector fella!) around Fair Park that new stadiums (stadia, if you're into classical Latin and Greek) have tended to lavish upon cities if it's done properly. Oh yeah, and you know that warm fuzzy feeling that would come from knowing the name Dallas Cowboys isn't a lie any more? Screw that, too!

Nonetheless, Jordan still wanted a domed Cotton Bowl that Jordan said could not compete with Arlington in drawing the Cowboys back to Fair Park. But that's OK because private investors would spend $250 million-$300 million to make sure Cotton Bowl remained idle approximately year-round.

By the way, how under budget is the new Cowboys stadium? Oh, wait. Sorry. It's about $350 million over budget. Good luck in doming up a stadium built in 1932 for a bargain. And if revamping (dome or no dome) has to been done on the cheap, it would be a colossal waste of money because about 20 miles down the road you'd still have the most prettied-up NFL hottie in America luring major events from under the surgically mutated nose of the sporting equivalent of Jocelyn Wildenstein, who sits patiently under the Texas Star, hoping some sucker asks her out.

There is no way DFW can have a half-assed dome and a full-assed dome and expect to keep both humming along nicely. If you were the Cotton Bowl people, would you pick the half-assed dome when there was the other, better one in Arlington? I sure wouldn't. No one would, unless they were driven solely out of sentiment, which doesn't pay the bills.

Ah, well. Jordan said a new Cowboys stadium would have been the perfect thing for Fair Park. Or wait. Maybe a new stadium is a bad idea? But one thing is for sure: the Cotton Bowl stadium still has a bright future.

Sorry, this pit has swallowed me whole. Can't. . . keep. . .typ. . . .

*SLURP!*

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