Theater Review: Altar Boyz

by John Garcia of John Garcia's The Column

Since the musical Altar Boyz involves religion, I will start off with a confession. I am, and have always been, addicted to boy bands. I know. I can hear my readers gasp, jaws dropping with a loud thud on computer keyboards, and everyone in complete disbelief. I am a fan of 'N Sync, Backstreet Boys, and 98 Degrees. But hey, I stop at O-Town. I don't go for fakers. There, you have my confession. Well actually one more.

Back in 2002, I actually went to a Backstreet Boys concert here in Dallas at Reunion Arena. All by myself, none of my friends would go. But there I was, in a sea of tiny girls, high school girls, older women, oh-and gay men. The dancing, the music, the harmonies, and the energy. I was all caught up in it! And yeah. . .I screamed along with Tiffany, Christy, and Amanda, who were the three high school sophomores sitting next to me. So what! Whew. There, I said it, my secret is out.

Altar Boyz opened in New York in March 2005, where it is still playing strong. I saw the off-Broadway production in 2006 and thoroughly enjoyed it. It was fresh, funny, and full of peppy, danceable pop songs. The national tour of this musical about a religious boy band has now stopped at the Majestic Theater here in Dallas.

Kevin Del Aguila's hilarious book takes us to the final concert of this boy band that includes Matthew (the Justin Timberlake of the band); Luke, the bad boy who just got out of rehab for "exhaustion" (think A.J. McClean or Joey Fatone); Juan (the ethnic one); Abraham (the Jewish one); and Mark (the Lance Bass of the band). Aguila's rip-roaring book shows us how they met, how they deal with love, friendship, bad influences, and how God works in their lives. All met with side-splitting results in music and book.

Gary Alder and Michael Patrick Walker's music and lyrics pay great homage to the bubblegum, pop-infused music that boy bands sing. From tight harmonies to notes that wail all over the music sheet. There are some hysterical lyrics within the score that slay the audience.

One of the major reasons why the musical is so enjoyable is Christopher Gattelli's superb choreography. As his canvas are all those music videos that they show on MTV and the dance work of the real boy bands. Gattelli's choreography is a cornucopia of sizzling, dazzling, hip-hop, pop, crunk, and good ole Broadway jazz. It is wicked, fierce, and uproarious.

Confession here, I actually thought the majority of this cast was much funnier and enjoyable than the New York company. This cast had so much hot, raw, blinding energy that they melted away any hint of the blistering cold that was just outside the theater doors.

As the leader of the group, Mathew Buckner is the complete package. Handsome, chiseled features, major biceps, and a beautiful set of tenor vocal pipes. Squeezed into a very tight black shirt and jeans, he made several women (& men) swoon throughout the evening. Buckner's best number was his sweet ballad that he sings to a female audience member that he pulls from the audience. His tenor voice is exquisite. Buckner is terrific in this production.

Jesse JP Johnson as Luke receives loud laughs from the audience for his portrayal of the bad boy who is in recovery. Johnson parlays his talents to a rap song that is a solid hit with the audience. Adding a layer of not being too bright to his performance only generated more laughter. With a combination of Marky Mark and deer in the headlights, Johnson wins the audience approval with his mirth-provoking characterization.

As the only Jew in a Catholic boy band, Nick Blaemire as Abraham is brilliant and hilarious in the musical. His comic timing and facial expressions are in perfect unison that works wonderfully with his characterization. While Blaemire may not possess the strongest singing voice in the bunch, his performance is nonetheless impressive.

Jay Garcia as Juan had his moments, but he seemed a couple of steps behind in comedic delivery and timing with the others on stage. Garcia at times just did not match the level of hilarity that his fellow actors were playing on. One problem here could be that the role is written too generic and stereotyped. Don't get me wrong, Garcia was highly enjoyable, but he could have gone much further with the role and the comedy (especially the subtext).

The best performance of the cast who stole the show was Ryan J. Ratliff as Mark. No matter what he did, the audience would roar in laughter. Ratliff's facial expressions alone had me in constant laughter. His comedic timing, pace, and delivery hit the comic bull’s eye through out the entire evening, never once missing its target. One of the best vocal numbers of the night was Ratliff's "Epiphany", an 11 O'clock torch ballad about admitting something to others. Ratliff brought to the stage some Whitney Houston (right down to the sweating and towel), a dash of Mariah Carey, and ended with some major Effie White from Dreamgirls. It was hilarious from beginning to end.

As a group, many of the numbers are hysterical with sublime choreography, such as "We Are the Altar Boyz", "The Calling", "Rhythm in Me", "La Vida Eternal", and "Number 918". Altar Boyz has it all: a marvelous book and score, fantastic choreography, crystal clean vocals with sublime harmonies, and a sensational cast whose energy will blow the roof off the Majestic! Don't miss it!

GRADE: A

The show only runs until Sunday, so buy your tickets here.