Interview with GWAR from the Sounds of the Underground Tour

by Erin Rice

This Friday, July 6, the Sounds of the Underground Tour is kicking off in Dallas at the Palladium Ballroom. The tour will feature a slew of metal groups, including Shadows Fall, Chimaira, Every Time I Die, Goatwhore, Amon Amarth, and more. Headlining the tour this year will be none other than GWAR.

To gear up for Friday's show, we scored an interview with the murderous leader of GWAR himself, Oderus Urungus. Read below to learn more about what Urungus expects of this year's SotU tour, GWAR's feelings on Texans, the truth about penguins, and a crapload more.

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Oderus Urungus/GWAR: Ok, I’m yours.

Erin Rice/Pegasus News: My first question is, I would like to know how often you guys are actually interviewed by chicks?

OU: I don’t know. A lot of guys that interview me have very feminine sounding voices. This isn’t like a 2-way video-phone so I can’t even tell that you even are a woman. You could be like a transgender male for all I know, but I’ll take your word for it. I would have to say like 38% of the time.

ER: Judging from the stage show, it seems like GWAR is kinda misogynistic. If that’s true, then why do you hate women so much? Were your mothers not nurturing enough?

OU: We don’t hate women more than we hate men, or any more than we hate human beings in general. Just because we rape and murder women, doesn’t mean that they are particularly hated by GWAR. We see them as human beings, and therefore inferior, and therefore must be destroyed. We don’t single them out for any particular abuse. Perhaps we should.

ER: OK, fair enough.

OU: I never had a mother, my father was a Petri dish and my mother was a computer, so I didn’t get any of those child-rearing niceties that the human beings get. My whole life has been disease, famine, pestilence, and war. So, yeah I grew up kind of malformed.

ER: Considering GWAR’s determination to destroy all of mankind, you must be really big fans of the President.

OU: I must admit I have a lot admiration for their idiotic, murderous, genocidal policy. I can’t believe the human beings follow them so willingly. After all, GWAR represents the same things, but we don’t ask for you to vote for us. I encourage the humans to kill themselves, and if your political leaders can help you do this, then I’m all for it. But I certainly do not support the Republican Party; I’m more of an anarchist mold.

ER: Now you have returned recently from the Beyond the Hell Tour, correct?

OU: We are kind of still on it, in a way. The Beyond the Hell album came out last year, and we’ve been touring non-stop ever since. We toured through America, we just got back from Europe, and now we’re doing the Sounds of the Underground Summer festival, then we’re going back out this Fall, so we haven’t really had the chance to start making a new album. So in a sense, we’re still on the Beyond the Hell Tour.

ER: OK. So you just got back from Europe.

OU: Yes, we just got back, and it’s still very smelly.

ER: Do you think that Europeans are generally more or less bloodthirsty than Americans?

OU: I think that Europeans are more bloodthirsty than Americans but they don’t act like it. They act all mellow, and civilized, but when GWAR appears, their true savage blood lust comes out. So them pretending that they're better than us is just a big act. They’re actually just as foul as any American could possibly be. I’m fonder of the Americans though, because they wear their blood lust more on their sleeves. They’re more up front about their aggression and as a result I can get to know the audience a little bit quicker. There’s no wasting time pretending that they’re cool, we just get right to the meat of the matter.

ER: GWAR is fabled to spend much of its time in Antarctica, right?

OU: Yes, we spend quite a bit of time down there. Anytime we are not touring we are in our Antarctic fortress, toiling endlessly on our war machines and trying to keep the local penguin population down.

ER: What are the penguins doing?

OU: Oh, they’re always trying to trash my fortress of eternal solitude – well I’m not trying to rip off Superman too much there – but we’ve got the GWAR fortress down there on the bottom of the world. Actually, it’s the top of the world. Every time you see a picture of the planet Earth it is actually upside-down, it’s the other way around. The North Pole is the South Pole, and vice-versa.

But, yes the penguins in Antarctica grow to about 90 meters tall, but when you see them on Animal Planet, you’ll never see human beings in the same photograph as a penguin. That would reveal the fact that they are trying to hide from you that Penguins are gigantic, they breathe nuclear fire, and they are bent on the destruction of the human race. Now that is GWAR’s job, we’re not going to let the humans be destroyed by the penguins, so we are in a continual war with the penguins. So when we are on tour, yes, the penguins are back at home, breaking in to my house, sleeping in my bed, and using my Playstation. So when we get back from the road we have to find the penguins and beat the shit out of them, and so the cycle continues.

ER: Wow, they sound like a bunch of assholes.

OU: Yeah. Penguins suck.

ER: Tell me about this year’s Sounds of the Underground Tour. What kind of spectacle can fans expect?

OU: It’s pretty amazing. GWAR has actually got the headlining slot in this year’s tour. After two years of doing the halftime show and playing in broad daylight, or doing a shorter set – I mean they told us we were headlining, but we saw bands playing after us, and we were thinking “that’s not working out,” – this year, we are the act at the top of the heap, so we’re going to be doing what I think will be our most spectacular show yet. We’re going to have a lot of the old things that make GWAR great, and some of the new things. We’re playing songs off the new album as well as a lot of old classics. We’re bringing back some characters that haven’t been around for quite some time, and bringing out some new flesh to beat the hell out of. We’ll be appearing with a lot of other great metal bands.

ER: And you are coming through Dallas this Friday with the tour.

OU: Yes, it will be the very first show of the Sounds of the Underground Tour in Dallas on Friday. In fact we’re getting to town a couple days early, in order to rehearse the show, and so the members of GWAR will be slinking about the streets of Deep Ellum for a couple days there, looking for crack and trying to score public blow jobs. So, if you could hook us up.

ER: Hey, you know, you can find that kind of stuff on our website, I believe, or something like that.

OU: Great.

ER: And, have a good time because it’s been raining non-stop for about three weeks now, so.

OU: Yeah, what’s up with that, I thought Texas never got rained on.

ER: I don’t know. It’s all flash floods and despair and whatnot. But since you guys are coming to Dallas, and you’ve been here before, what have been your impressions of Texans in general?

OU: Texans are actually some of our favorite humans in America. The way they feel they rule the world. The way they feel they are superior to any other area in the United States, and therefore superior to any other place in the entire world, despite the fact that Texas really is just a scrubby desert; and that they have to deal with the fact that the Dallas Cowboys are from there. I’m not really sure what makes the Texans feel so great about themselves but that feeling of just unrivaled aggression and superiority reflects well on the species, and we feel a certain affinity with them, because we think that Antarctica is the coolest place in the world.

So, uh, hell yeah, we love Texas, we’ve always had great shows in Texas ever since GWAR was just a little strappling flapping around on the face of modern music. We can go to Texas and know that we are going to inspire thousands of seething mutants to come see GWAR. Yes, the warm welcome and the filthy, spackled undergarments that Texas people have showered us with over the years, the many sleepless nights as we did piles of your crappy crank and all those blow jobs we received in a semi-turgid state. Yes, so, the entire world must be destroyed, but Texas must be saved.

ER: Thank you for taking the time to talk with me, and we’re definitely looking forward to the show on Friday.

OU: Great, we can’t wait, it’s going to be an amazing tour and Dallas is a great place to kick it off. Thanks Erin, GWAR loves you. Hail GWAR.

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