Movie Review: Fantastic Four: Rise of the Silver Surfer

by Shawn Parikh

I am about to utter something you might not believe, and you might guffaw or even shun me, but here goes: Jessica Alba can look f’in nasty. I don’t know why they deviated from her look in the first, but the nasty-blonde hair (she invented a new shade) with blue contacts made her look like a possessed, sick freak. When you go to this movie, you know if the story sucks, her sex appeal is supposed to be the one advantage (i.e. “The movie was OK, but Jessica Alba was hot!” or “Good thing Jessica Alba was in that movie”). The first pic in the photo montage on the right shows how good she looked in the first Fantastic Four, but take a look at he rest of the photos for proof of what the costumers and make-up artist did to her in the second. Alright, I think you get the point.

As far as the movie goes, ehhh, it’s like a two-hour episode of some WB supernatural show, like Smallville or Buffy. The world is under attack by some unknown creature, and superhuman characters must figure out what it is, wants, and then, kill it. The acting is decent, there are obvious or cheesy one-liners (to Johnny Storm: “You smell like ash”), some conflict arises between the foursome, and you pretty much know the outcome.

The movie begins a few days before the media-frenzied wedding between Sue Storm and Reed, but crazy weather changes have been occurring all over the globe. The government asks for Reed’s help, yet he has to do it behind Susan’s back because he is supposed to be devoted to the wedding. Meanwhile, Susan is wondering how will they raise a normal family, Johnny Storm is hitting on anything that moves, and Ben has awkward situations because of his size. And then, of course, the wedding crasher arrives in the form of The Silver Surfer.

Even from the previews, the new nemesis, The Silver Surfer, looks really cool, sleek, and flashy. His appearance at the wedding is a pretty exciting chase scene because the effects of riding the board are so fast while being chased by a flaming Johnny Storm. And because Storm has made contact with the Surfer, any time he touches another member of his clique, they trade powers. Obvious humor occurs when Ben and him switch powers, but then they learn how to use this new power to their advantage.

So then, the foursome has a hard time catching the surfer. Meanwhile, Dr. Doom returns and tries to align himself with the surfer, but fails because the surfer doesn’t want any help. Because of this, Dr. Doom then goes to the government which enlists him to help the Fantastic 4 catch him (which they are furious about), and from then on it’s pretty obvious what will happen. And I won’t give up the surfer’s motives in case you are dying to see this movie.

You know what you are walking into when you go this movie, so you gotta enjoy it for what it is. The effects are pretty good, but not enough to carry the movie. By far, Chris Evans as Johnny Storm adds the most persona to the screen, only because he has the most character. He gets to be egotistic, and thus, funny. Michael Chiklis as Ben didn’t get much of a chance to really be part of the foursome, but the movie focused on Reed and Sue, who were both decent. But the biggest disappointment was Julian McMahon as Dr. Doom. He played an archetypal evil character and came off mechanical and hammy. And just because I want to mention it, there is a useless cameo by Vanessa Minnillo.

I would say to watch this at home, because you pretty much know everything that will happen, but it can still be a fun (I use that word loosely) 2 hour escape. Before I saw this movie, everyone was telling me to skip it, but it turned out to be better with these low expectations, except for Alba’s look, that is.