Pagans mad about giant Homer Simpson effigy

That's "mad" as in "angry."

by John P. Meyer

Leave it to those promotional wags at 20th Century Fox; they've chalked up an epic marketing gimmick (in real chalk, no less) on the plains of Wessex on property directly adjacent to the famed Cerne Abbas Giant, that rampant aroused club-wielding line drawing of a behemoth lawn-art pictogram first etched into the soil in the 1600's by (someone) with (some kind of) agenda.

It's a chalk mega-rendering of Homer Simpson, holding up a god-sized doughnut, intended as a promo for the forthcoming Simpsons movie (opening stateside on July 27). Homer and his doughnut stand 180 ft. tall, which equates to roughly 55 metres, for those who are into measurement.

The pagan church, represented by Ann Bryn-Evans, joint Wessex district manager for the Pagan Foundation, is not amused, or even subliminally motivated to go out and buy doughnuts. (Do they even have doughnuts in Dorset?) According to Ms. Bryn-Evans, who probably goes around in a t-shirt depicting the Cerne Abbas Giant in his full rampant splendor, "It's very disrespectful and [Ed. note: this next part is the capper] not at all aesthetically pleasing." Which probably wasn't the intent, but oh well.

To hasten the fading of the chalk Homer figure - which, unlike the neighboring Giant, is at least rendered wearing underpants - Ann Bryn-Evans and her pagan constituents will be magicking up some rain.

Gods' speed, Ann... gods' speed.