UPDATED Dancing with the Stars Mark Cuban watch: Week One

by April Powell

Mark Cuban made his dancing debut on ABC's Dancing with the Stars Tuesday night, performing the foxtrot to a cover of Roger Miller's "King of the Road." Although DwtS has had its share of cheese-ball costumes over its four seasons (they're part of the kitschy fun), Cuban's tweedy tail-coat and pants, complete with faux "patches," was one of the dippiest I've seen yet. When I glimpsed his getup as he sat in the green room with the other dancers waiting to perform, I seriously wondered if he was going to dance to Clarence Carter's overwrought "Patches."

Cuban's performance earned him three sevens from the judges, who were probably being a little generous. They've shown a tendency to score competitors in the early rounds based on their own individual potential and abilities, rather than those of the overall field. Cuban is pretty much the only competitor who is not a performer or athlete by profession, and he's already tried to garner some sympathy points by showing everyone his hip replacement scar. (Put that away! Who do you think you are, Lyndon B. Johnson?) He's also trying to gin up some support through his blog, where he urges readers to "Vote for Mark and Kym early and often and ask your friends to do the same!"

Despite Cuban's repeated statements that he's very competitve and on the show to win, he's probably going to have to up his game to stick around much longer. One of the main complaints about his performance was that he kept singing along with the song during the dance routine. Not only did it distract and make him look as if he wasn't taking things very seriously, it also reminded me of people who can't read without moving their lips. Although I suppose any NBA referee could have told the judges that Cuban just can't keep his mouth shut, apparently no matter what the activity.

Tune in to the first results show on Wednesday, September 26 at 7 pm to see if Cuban survives to lip synch his way through another routine.

UPDATE: Cuban barely escaped elimination on the results show, finding himself in the bottom two, score-wise, with model-actress-whatever Josie Maran. Luckily for Cuban, Josie went home. But the experience doesn't bode well for future advancement because his low overall score (given his not-great-but-ok judges' score) indicates a low level of viewer support. "Mark Cuban watch" may be the shortest-lived Pegasus series to date.

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