Sunday, August 3, 2008

Restaurant Review: Screen Door

By The Law Reviewers of The Law Reviewers

Fried green tomatoes are on the menu at Screen Door.

If you could go back in time and tell your past self anything, what would it be? Don’t eat those paint chips? Murder = bad? No matter how much you love each other, you can NOT marry a tres leches cake? When reviewing chi-chi places that don’t list prices on their websites, take a pen, or at least keep the itemized receipt? We’re sorry to report that we don’t have a time machine and we didn’t make a record of the prices at Screen Door, the new Modern Southern restaurant in One Arts Plaza. Also, so much for the paint chips thing. Anyway, Screen Door is one of those if-you-have-to-ask-you-can’t-afford-it kind of joints. Luckily, we have credit cards and 30 days to think of something before the 26% interest kicks in. Until then we have our sweet, sweet memories of getting stepped on by a waiter, the wet paper towels in the bathroom, the boom-boom-boom soundtrack over the already loud din (must be getting old… get off our lawns!), the watery gumbo, and getting rushed out for lingering after dessert. That said, we’ll be back because everything else was awesome.

Yep, despite its flaws, Screen Door won us over. And before we get on with the food, let’s get this out right away: The menu is pretentious as hell. “Gumbo of the moment?” “Kobe Beef Pot Roast?” “Deconstructed lobster pot pie?” We were amused (make that amused bouche). Since the place is Modern Southern, you know that half of the dishes will either be southern fried, feature catfish, or have remoulade (and, fortunately, we hit the trifecta).

Speaking of amused bouches, once you survive the gauntlet of seeing and being seen as you walk to your table, you are immediately rewarded with bite-sized, fresh okra, carrots, and nuts (with a sauce that tasted suspiciously like 1,000 Island). Service was friendly, but a little pushy, and if there’s one thing we hate, especially in a place this swank, it’s getting pestered for our drink order before looking at a menu or a wine list. The décor is a little more modern than southern with muted beige chairs, light wood floors and magnolia white walls and ceilings with several large chandeliers. The table settings featured the standard chi-chi restaurant salt ‘n pepper wells and unnecessarily intricate bowls n’ plates (did they buy them at the Luqa fire sale?).

The food was fairly uneven, but at least things improved as the entrees turned out much better than the appetizers (which cost around $8-$14). The gazpacho with jumbo shrimp tasted like five jumbo shrimp in a bowl of cocktail sauce, which was about one bowl too many. The “Gumbo of the Moment”'s – wait for it – time had passed. The brown, watery base had too few chunks of sausage and too many miniature crab claws. Admittedly, the crab claws were an interesting twist, but novelty aside, there was almost no meat on them and this place is just too proper for finger food, no matter how campy. Fried green tomatoes won the appetizer competition and earned style points for having no style – just four thick, sweet slices of green tomatoes frit (with red pepper jam).

Dinner entrees run in the $20-$38 range. Shrimp and grits were good-to-excellent; the cheese grits were filling and more cheesy than gritty (a good thing), and if the four giant shrimp had been cooked just a wee bit better and had been a little less chewy, it would could have contended for best dish of the evening. As it were, the Kobe beef pot roast won hands down. Despite being a ball hog with a temper, it was absolutely the most tender and juicy pot roast we’ve ever encountered, with a rich, smoky flavor.

At lunch, try the southern fried catfish po boy with smoked tomato remoulade, which featured crisp breading around some succulent catfish. We didn’t really notice a lot of smokiness in our remoulade, but then, maybe the Big D-wide smoking ban is already in full force [rim shot!]. Desserts were mostly forgettable. Peach and berry cobbler left no impression on us, and other than the fancy dishware, it could have been from anywhere. Bread pudding is the one dessert worth ordering, but next time, we’ll head across the driveway to that funky looking Dali Wine Bar for an aperitif on the patio.

Screen Door looks like it can be a decent, if pricey, place to get a downtown business lunch or a pre-show dinner in the new and improved Arts District (now with 50% more art!), but it needs to stop trying to out-Hattie Hattie’s and lower the hip factor a couple of notches. On our southern-fried five gavel scale, where five gavels is The Dukes of Hazzard show with Bo and Luke in their prime and one gavel is The Dukes of Hazzard movie with Johnny Knoxville and Sean William Scott collecting a paycheck, we give Screen Door two and three-quarters gavels or that Dukes of Hazzard episode where those strangers roll into town in a nondescript, dark sedan, who are on the lam from a bank robbery/looking for someone visiting town who is also a guest star and Daisy's long, lost cousin from Atlanta.

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Comments

Donna Chen Verified

Sounds like a trip to the Screen Door requires a bit of luck. But $30+/plate is a bit much to gamble on chicken fried-something.

4 months ago ( Link to this comment | Suggest removal )

Scott Doyle Verified

toddunt, The Law Reviewers link to the restaurant's PegNews page in the 1st paragraph. Address (including map) along with basic info is on it.

For good measure: http://www.pegasusnews.com/places/scr...

4 months ago ( Link to this comment | Suggest removal )