Dallas-based rock band The Crazy Ivans find a singer, start recording

by PegNews wire

Brand-new Dallas-based rock band The Crazy Ivans have finally found a lead singer, and have started to record their first album. The group, which includes two Pegasus News staffers Justin Smith and Todd Maternowski --as well as a pair of longtime musicians James Grinnell and Keith Riskey-- is a straight-up rock band, and should be a welcome relief to local rock fans who've felt deprived of balls-shaking rock music for the past decade or so.

Look for the bands' tour bus at an arena near you

The band had been sans a singer until recently, however, when --after a lengthy and tortuous audition process-- the band finally selected former Jane Loves Dick singer Kristen Diehl (likes: long walks on the beach, puppies, killing nazi ninja assassins and using their entrails to paint her Bentley) as their lead vocalist. At the same time, they also added young up-and-coming organist/pianist Michael Maternowski (Favorite sexual position: the Hypersexual Headbutt) to man the Hammond X-3.

Now with a complete lineup, this fully-operational Deathstar of Rock spans the entire spectrum of the rock genre. Sounding like a cross between Optimus Prime with flaming Sarlaac pits for fists, and six yeti mating in interdimensional space, The Crazy Ivans will be the driving force of Rock Unity not seen since Genghis Khan united the Mongol tribes in 1206. Only half as bloodthirsty and twice as likely to melt face, listening to The Crazy Ivans is like having front-row seats to a Scarlett Johansson-Keira Knightly Zero-Gravity Oil-Wrestling Battle Royale. Except that at the end of one of their shows, you will get laid.

The band should be appearing in your favorite music venue soon: until then, they are currently recording a five-song EP Go Back to Russia, Sucka at the illustrious TM Studios. Engineered by a genuine Guiness World Record Holder, the album should be out and available for download by mid-September, and has already received some impressive accolades:

"After listening to this record, I now know that Nirvana will occur on this earth, and within the next five months" -- The Dalai Lama

"It is my sole reason to live" -- Michael Phelps

"I will personally pour lava directly into the ears of anyone who refuses to listen to this album" -- Barack Obama

With a growing fanbase and a song catalog fueled by the newly-discovered element of Rockfaceium, The Crazy Ivans are looking forward to the public unveiling of Go Back to Russia, Sucka. Stay tuned for details.

Posted by Todd M.

Staff
Verified User
Anonymous

Pavel Lishin, says:

I am cautiously optimistic.

Verified

1 year, 3 months ago
Link to this comment | Suggest removal

Collin Gouldin, says:

cause we all know, they key to a good album is to have a GUINNESS WORLD RECORD(tm) holder engineer it.<br><br>:-)

Verified

1 year, 3 months ago
Link to this comment | Suggest removal

sergal, says:

I would like inform you that Scarlett Johansson (actress)actually is a clone from original person,who has nothing with acting career.Clone was created illegally by using stolen biomaterial. Original person is very nice(not dn sexy),most important-CHRISTIAN young lady!I'll tell you more,those clones(it's not only one)made in GERMANY-world leader manufacturer of humans clones,it is in Ludwigshafen am Rhein,N. Bavaria, Mr. Helmut Kohl home town.You can't even imaging the scale of the cloning activity.But warning! H. Kohl clone staff 100% controlling their clones spreading around the world,they are very accurate with that, some of them are still NAZI type disciplined and mind controlled clones,be careful get close with clones you will be controlled too.Original family did not authorize any activity with stolen biological materials,no matter what form it was created,it all needs back to original family control to Cedars-Sinai MedicalCenter in LA.Original Scarlett is not engage,by the way!