Stone-Cold NFL Peglocks of the Week: Commercial Jingles Edition

by Mike Bullock , Chris Curotolo , Todd Maternowski , Justin Smith

It's playoff crunch time in the football season again, and that can only mean one thing: 110% accurate predictions by our savvy staff of professional prognosticators. Our historical record cannot be denied: Pegasus News' panel of vastly overpaid NFL experts --Justin Smith, Chris Curotolo, Mike Bullock and Todd Maternowski-- has proven time and time again that this publication is the only one you, the professional sports gambler, will ever need.

This season, we have invited a weekly panel of celebrity seers to join in spirited debate over the Game of the Week. The panel will change every week: this week features regular Pegnews contributors Anonymous Madison Avenue Ad Executives, whom Justin and Todd have captured, beaten, and locked in a damp cage in an unmarked warehouse. They will offer their expert commentary on the footballicious Week 14 donnybrook between the New York Jets and the San Francisco 49ers.

Justin/New York Jets: Satisfaction has a first name, its F-a-v-r-e

Regret has a second name, its M-u-r-p-h-y

And if he keeps crying where cameras are

Then we know his soul is owned by L-u-c-i-f-e-r.

Todd/San Francisco 49ers: I'd like to teach the line to block

In perfect harmony.

I'd like to cut down on the holds

And save Frank Gore's poor knees.

I'd like to put up seven points

And stop settling for three;

And best of all, when coach gets mad?

Mike drops his pants for free!

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