Theater Reviews: The SantaLand Diaries and A Bur-Less-Q Nutcracker

by John Garcia of of John Garcia's The Column

To my closest friends this is no secret, but to my subscribers this may shock you, but I have a confession to make. But let me state upfront that I do sincerely apologize if this offends anyone. It's not meant to do that. I'm just giving you a perspective of where I'm coming from personally. Here it goes:

I am not a fan of Christmas. Yes, I am the poster child of "Bah humbug!" Not to air my personal life in public, but several personal tragedies have occurred within my family during these festive holidays. Since high school the joy of decorated trees, glittery presents, Rudolph, and all that cheery holiday magic does not make me happy. Instead I sit in the cold darkness and wait for the next tragedy to spring up on us, as it has almost every Xmas season.

Thus, I steer clear of holiday-themed shows. I just can't find the joy and merriment in those shows at all. I know I'm being the evil Mr. Scrooge, so sue me. I just prefer not to see Tiny Tim blessing all of us or know where the best Xmas pageant is, nor find any interest in wondering if a Red Rider BB gun is a bad toy to give a child.

So, if you're like me and just don't have the "holiday spirit" to sit through those sugar-coated holiday shows, I have two alternative shows that are both entertaining and funny!

First, take a visit to Contemporary Theatre of Dallas to laugh out loud at The SantaLand Diaries written by David Sedaris. The story centers on a guy who has gotten a job at Macy's as an Elf. He too is not a big fan of the holidays. But here he is, dressed in a brightly colored costume (adorned with tiny glitter balls!) and having to deal with screaming kids and irritated parents. It doesn't help boost his enjoyment when he is sacked with the elf name "Crumpet".

Through a series of humorous tales, Crumpet takes us through it all: from training to actual confrontations with the brats & their equally pain-in-the-rear parents, as well as bizarre co-workers.

Nye Cooper has portrayed this role for several years at Watertower Theatre, but now he is reprising the role for CTD. I have never seen this production before; this would be my first visit into Crumpet's world.

I can see how the role could be easily turned into a bitchy queen spewing catty remarks of bitterness. That alone would have turned me off immediately. Instead Cooper treats the role as a friend chatting with his close pals at dinner. Cooper is both adorable and funny in the role. Under the sublime direction of Coy Covington, the actor knows when to really throw in those zingers for added comic punch. I have stated in many reviews that I think actors who are directors turn out to be the best directors around; Covington certainly fits that theory like a glove. Using his brilliant comedic background, he puts Cooper through a fine tooth "comedic comb" to find the best jokes, both verbal and non-verbal.

Oh, and make sure to pay attention to the music that is played during the blackouts, it is hilarious! Cooper is dressed in a very festive costume designed by Aaron Patrick Turner (love the glitter balls and red pointy shoes!); a colorful & tasteful set designed by Rodney Dobbs; and sweet intimate lighting designed by Russell K. Dyer.

All of these elements combined with Covington's direction and a fantastic performance provided by Cooper serve as the perfect alternative show from the norm!

The SantaLand Diaries runs through December 28 and tickets can be purchased online or by calling 214-828-0094.

Over at the Stone Cottage in Addison, MBS Productions has brought back (due to popular demand) their holiday comedy, The Beulaville Baptist Book Club Presents: A Bur-Less-Q Nutcracker! This is written by its Artistic Director (and star of the show) Mark-Brian Sonna.

The piece centers on a group of ladies who run a book club and run into financial troubles. So they ask the local ballet company to perform, however thanks to the dreadful cooking of one of its members, the dancers fall ill. But miracle of miracles, a van nearby broke down that happens to be full of dancers called the Velvet Kittens. Thus the ladies persuade these "dancers" to perform The Nutcracker in return of having their van fixed. And the comedy ensues.

As with the aforementioned show, this was also my first time to view this play as well as my first time to see a show at the Stone Cottage.

Right off the bat, I must say I enjoyed the second act much more than the first act. The first act had some odd problems, such as actors struggling for lines or some strange stage action that I did not get. For example, in a couple of scenes while two or more actors were delivering their lines, another actor would comment or talk directly to the audience. I didn't know where or who was supposed to be the focus here. I was perplexed on what I was supposed to keep my attention on when this occurred.

This show is certainly only for adults. The comedy is adult-themed and not suitable for children whatsoever. Brian-Sonna has written a humorous piece that while it does have some pitfalls, it still entertains and provides some solid laughs. He also portrays the only male role in the show, "Dickey", a local yokel who is a bit slow (if you catch my drift). I do give Mr. Sonna a gold star for giving one of the funniest curtain speeches I've heard all year. Also, I was very impressed with his dancing & choreography (along with Jana Edele). I had no idea he danced so well, I mean the guy knows his ballet!

Another entertaining performance was provided by Janye Anderson as "Wilma". For the majority of Act One, she says not a word, only shouts out a word or two like someone with Tourette's. As for her zany facial expressions.....well they are side-splitting hilarious! It's like watching Baby Jane & Carol Burnett morphed into one person.

The stars of the show though are the Velvet Kittens. These are six sexy & lovely gals who dance up a storm in the second act. Remember, they are burlesque dancers who have to format their "choreography" to Tchaikovsky's Nutcracker. Think Tessie Tura & Miss Mazzeppa trying to look all classy & elegant doing ballet, but with the occasional bump and grind thrown in -- you get the picture. The end result is hysterical!

These six luscious beauties are portrayed by Emily Antrainer (Jana); Wendy Wilshire (Jessica); Kelli Schneider (Jocelyn); Melody Denoia (Jenny); Tami Christensen (JoJo); and Christy Conner (Jill). While they may resemble the Cell Block Tango girls from CHICAGO, they are not those broads here, that's for sure! Their energy and physical comedy jolts the production immensely. As you can see, this play is also not your typical holiday show, but instead is a festive change from the usual holiday fare.

Most theater companies around the metroplex are doing their annual holiday shows, and I'm sure 99% of them are geared for the whole family & are full of wholesome goodness. But if you want a completely different and "adult" take on Christmas and the holidays, these two shows are the perfect solution to that!

A Bur-Less-Q Nutcracker runs through December 28 and tickets can be purchased online or by calling 214-477-4942.

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