Thursday, December 25, 2008
Thursday Morning Cupcheck - The 12 Days of Starsmas
Good Christmas morning, hockey fans! Last week we set out a list of Christmas presents for the Stars; this week, I was planning on writing my annual Festivus column on Marty Turco's troubles in net via the time-honored medium of caroling (leading with either Marty, the Red-Faced 'Tender or Losty the Goalman), but after considering all the presents you readers are sitting there waiting to open after reading this, I decided to keep this week's column brief---hey, what's with all the cheering?
At any rate, after a quick, free consultation with the Two Wise Men (Hull's had his Wise Man License temporarily suspended) --not to mention a massive change of mood on the Stars since their last game, a down-to-the-wire nail-biter in Toronto-- I've been able to dig deep into the forgotten folk songs of the Stars franchise and bring you the singalong version of the 12 Days of Starsmas.
Just two days before Christmas, the real Stars showed to me
A real scoring ability
Just two days before Christmas, the real Stars showed to me
It took a third of the season, but it looks like Marty is finally squaring up to the shooters
Two Turco glovesaves
And a real scoring ability
Just two days before Christmas, the real Stars showed to me
Three mensch men
Two Turco glovesaves
And a real scoring ability
Just two days before Christmas, the real Stars showed to me
Four Toronto nerds
Three mensch men
Two Turco glovesaves
And a real scoring ability
Just two days before Christmas, the real Stars showed to me
Five goals from wings
Four Toronto nerds
Three mensch men
Two Turco glovesaves
And a real scoring ability
Just two days before Christmas, the real Stars showed to me
Six d-men playing
Five goals from wings
Four Toronto nerds
Three mensch men
Two Turco glovesaves
And a real scoring ability
Just two days before Christmas, the real Stars showed to me
Seven fights a-brimming
Six d-men playing
Five goals from wings
Four Toronto nerds
Three mensch men
Two Turco glovesaves
And a real scoring ability
Just two days before Christmas, the real Stars showed to me
Pictured: the overwhelming consensus on what that win really felt like for the Stars
Eight leads a-milking
Seven fights a-brimming
Six d-men playing
Five goals from wings
Four Toronto nerds
Three mensch men
Two Turco glovesaves
And a real scoring ability
Just two days before Christmas, the real Stars showed to me
Nine pucks advancing
Eight leads a-milking
Seven fights a-brimming
Six d-men playing
Five goals from wings
Four Toronto nerds
Three mensch men
Two Turco glovesaves
And a real scoring ability
Just two days before Christmas, the real Stars showed to me
Ten goals a-keeping
Nine pucks advancing
Eight leads a-milking
Seven fights a-brimming
Six d-men playing
Five goals from wings
Four Toronto nerds
Three mensch men
Two Turco glovesaves
And a real scoring ability
It was not a good night for Vesa Toskala's GAA
Just two days before Christmas, the real Stars showed to me
Eleven fans a-griping
Ten goals a-keeping
Nine pucks advancing
Eight leads a-milking
Seven fights a-brimming
Six d-men playing
Five goals from wings
Four Toronto nerds
Three mensch men
Two Turco glovesaves
And a real scoring ability
Just two days before Christmas, the real Stars showed to me
Twelfth place a-coming!
Eleven fans a-griping
Ten goals a-keeping
Nine pucks advancing
Eight leads a-milking
Seven fights a-brimming
Six d-men playing
Five goals from wings
Four Toronto nerds
Three mensch men
Two Turco glovesaves
And a real scoring ability
Put that in your stockings and smoke it, Burke! Perhaps in a better time, a better place (pauses, looks wistfully in the distance) we could play Ron Wilson-coached and Brian Burke-managed teams every day of the year. Until then, enjoy your Feast of the Holy Innocents this year, and watch for that Lord of Misrule!
