Movie review: Semi-Pro

by John P. Meyer

I don't know what you're expecting from yet another sports-spoof movie starring Will Ferrell, but what I expected going into Semi-Pro was pretty much exactly what I got: passably amusing, predictably profane fanboy fare devoid of socially-redeeming or artistic filmmaking value. If you're in the mood for a few good laughs and a chance to share popcorn with a like-minded (or indulgent) companion, go for it.

Mr. Ferrell (who I actually liked in 2006's Stranger Than Fiction, against all previously established proclivities) stars as Jackie Moon, a has-been pop singer whose claim to passing fame hinges upon the hit song "Love Me Sexy." It's the swinging big-hair early '70's, and Mr. Moon has given up musical performance (for which the Nobel committee should award him a Peace Prize) and taken on the responsibilities of ownership of a minor league basketball team based in Flint, Michigan.

Jackie is a very hands-on type of owner - even more so than, say, Jerry Jones. Not only does he own, he also coaches (after a fashion), plays (poorly but with great enthusiasm) and promotes (in very outside-the-box fashion), scheduling ten cent beer nights and having the players dress up in plastic fish and palm tree outfits (as befits their Flint Tropics moniker). To drum up bigger attendance for one memorable home game, Jackie decides to wrestle a bear at center court. In the funniest scene of the movie, the initially disinterested ursine rises to the confrontation and threatens to steal the show - or at least its meaty parts.

Backstory: the owner's association of the minor (and I mean minor) league American Basketball Association has decided to discontinue operations - except for the best few teams, who will be offered NBA franchises. Jackie sees his chance for greatness and decides to go for it.

Just one problem: his team sucks. They haven't won a game in who knows when, and furthermore their ticket sales are abysmal (hence the bear baiting and etc.). So Jackie for the first time starts to think seriously about the importance of winning games. It's a tropical sea change.

Enter Woody Harrelson as a former Boston Celtic named Monix. He's been bartered away from his bench-warming duties at another club in order to bring some sort of actual game-winning experience to the Tropics organization, and for the first time ever the team talks (and practices) actual court strategy. They have at least one talented player in the person of Clarence "Coffee" Black (André Benjamin in period-accurate Afro). Between Monix's strategic expertise and Coffee's raw talent, the Tropics just might have a chance - if they can get Jackie Moon to fade into the background for a bit. (Tall order, that.)

Comedic highlights of the film center on the team's on-air broadcasters, veteran Dick Pepperfield (Andrew Daly) and young lion Lou Redwood (Will Arnett). Redwood's color commentary is decidedly (and refreshingly) off-color; thank God the FCC are among the millions of Americans who aren't listening.

There are other moderately amusing (and aimlessly diverting) story line asides, including one surrounding the former relationship of Monix and current Flint resident Lynn (Maura Tierney) - whose husband, Kyle (Rob Corddry), has a rather unexpected reaction to the discovery that Monix may be once again sparking his wife. (Let's just say that Kyle likes to watch.)

Semi-Pro marks the first-time directorial effort of Kent Alterman, who ere now has confined himself to executive producing such Semi-similar fare as Mr. Woodcock and Balls of Fury, along with far more ambitious projects like Little Children and A History of Violence. While there's nothing inept about the direction behind Semi-Pro, there's nothing particularly notable about it, either.

While it's tempting at this point to draw comparisons between Jackie Moon's ownership duties and Kent Alterman's executive production ones, that's probably unfair. What better proving ground for a neophyte director than the solid footing provided by a Will Ferrell sports comedy? It'll take meatier material to discover whether Alterman has found his true calling.

TEAM MOTTO (posted in the Tropics locker room): "Everybody Loves Everybody"

COUNTER INTUITIVE: "You jivin' us now by sayin' you don't be jivin' us." - Clarence "Coffee" Black, to Jackie Moon

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