Undercover officers cite Arlington strip clubs for code violations

by PegNews wire

Here's the way a strip club is supposed to operate (according to my black sheep separated-at-birth twin brother, Bubert T. Fogelfart, who ought to know):

Hot babe dancer gyrates booty in face of lust-addled patrons paying three times the going rate for draft beer for the privilege of watching her gyrate; hypnotized patrons extract folding money from wallets and hold it out or (if sufficiently soused) proffer it between clenched teeth (or gums) for the dancer to accept within the outstretched belt of her g-string.

But the City of Arlington pulled a fast one in 2003 and changed the rules (via city code), making "nude touching" an infraction of the law. Which sort of ix-nays that whole pseudo-intimate g-string monetary insertion process. (Where's the thrill in inserting your - ah - tip into a cold, inanimate jar, Bubert wonders?) Not to mention that whole lap-dancing thing.

Since the new rules went into effect, the number of sexually-oriented businesses in Arlington has diminished by half (there are seven remaining), and those that still operate are being cited (some repeatedly) for infractions of the code. The linked story details the citations handed out by hard-working Arlington undercover operatives over the course of the last year, and there's even a handy photo gallery of the storefronts of the businesses detailed in the breakdown, which look appropriately seedy.

posted by JM

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