Wednesday, July 23, 2008
Dallas County inmates to be denied ketchup and mayonnaise
A side effect of this move is that the number of staged accidents by inmates will go way down.
In an effort to cut costs, Dallas County Sheriff Lupe Valdez is hitting her inmates at the county jail where it hurts the most: their love of condiments. Inmates will no longer receive free condiments like ketchup, mayonnaise, mustard, artificial sweeteners and jelly, a move that will supposedly save around $150,000. Taking away free pickles alone saves around $83,000. Such items will still be available to inmates -- they'll just have to buy them at the commissary now.
"Brother, I've been jonesing for some Heinz -- I'll trade you two packs of cigarettes for a couple of packets of that sweet ketchup."
Posted by Alex B.
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Scott, says:
Doesn't this raise Eighth Amendment issues?
Anonymous
1 year, 4 months agoLink to this comment | Suggest removal
jtmbls, says:
It's certainly unusual...
Anonymous
1 year, 4 months agoLink to this comment | Suggest removal
Collin Gouldin, says:
Schools have been doing this for a long time. I remember each packet being $0.10
Verified
1 year, 4 months agoLink to this comment | Suggest removal
Scott Doyle, says:
I'm presuming Scott (anonymous) is joking. Can't see sarcasm on the interwebs. =(
Verified
1 year, 4 months agoLink to this comment | Suggest removal
Andrew, says:
You were charged for condiments at school because you were there to be punished. :)
Actually, I hope the County starts advertising this as a deterent. A billboard of a guy in a jumpsuit eating a dry hot dog may be the push we need in reducing jail overcrowding. We need to change a few other things. Change the weightroom into a pilates class and start making them wear pink jumpsuits. The orange ones makes them look like deejayceepee understudies anyway.
Anonymous
1 year, 4 months agoLink to this comment | Suggest removal
Jason Rice, says:
Liking the "Yoga will scare 'em straight" idea.
A LOT. Yeah, explain to your homeys that the lotus is actually not your favorite asana for centering and focus ... and let natural selection do the heavy lifting for us.
Like it lots. Pilates names are even lamer.
I vote "Andrew for King" (for a day)
Verified
1 year, 4 months agoLink to this comment | Suggest removal
John McClelland, says:
Let them eat cake! But no condiments.
Verified
1 year, 4 months agoLink to this comment | Suggest removal