Wednesday, July 23, 2008
Dallas County inmates to be denied ketchup and mayonnaise
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A side effect of this move is that the number of staged accidents by inmates will go way down.
In an effort to cut costs, Dallas County Sheriff Lupe Valdez is hitting her inmates at the county jail where it hurts the most: their love of condiments. Inmates will no longer receive free condiments like ketchup, mayonnaise, mustard, artificial sweeteners and jelly, a move that will supposedly save around $150,000. Taking away free pickles alone saves around $83,000. Such items will still be available to inmates -- they'll just have to buy them at the commissary now.
"Brother, I've been jonesing for some Heinz -- I'll trade you two packs of cigarettes for a couple of packets of that sweet ketchup."
Posted by Alex B.
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Comments
Scott Anonymous
Doesn't this raise Eighth Amendment issues?
2 months, 2 weeks ago ( Link to this comment | Suggest removal )
jtmbls Anonymous
It's certainly unusual...
2 months, 2 weeks ago ( Link to this comment | Suggest removal )
Collin Gouldin Verified
Schools have been doing this for a long time. I remember each packet being $0.10
2 months, 2 weeks ago ( Link to this comment | Suggest removal )
Scott Doyle Verified
I'm presuming Scott (anonymous) is joking. Can't see sarcasm on the interwebs. =(
2 months, 2 weeks ago ( Link to this comment | Suggest removal )
Andrew Anonymous
You were charged for condiments at school because you were there to be punished. :)
Actually, I hope the County starts advertising this as a deterent. A billboard of a guy in a jumpsuit eating a dry hot dog may be the push we need in reducing jail overcrowding. We need to change a few other things. Change the weightroom into a pilates class and start making them wear pink jumpsuits. The orange ones makes them look like deejayceepee understudies anyway.
2 months, 2 weeks ago ( Link to this comment | Suggest removal )
Jason Rice Verified
Liking the "Yoga will scare 'em straight" idea.
A LOT. Yeah, explain to your homeys that the lotus is actually not your favorite asana for centering and focus ... and let natural selection do the heavy lifting for us.
Like it lots. Pilates names are even lamer.
I vote "Andrew for King" (for a day)
2 months, 2 weeks ago ( Link to this comment | Suggest removal )
John McClelland Verified
Let them eat cake! But no condiments.
2 months, 2 weeks ago ( Link to this comment | Suggest removal )
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