Friday, June 6, 2008

Movie review: You Don’t Mess with the Zohan

By Alex Bentley

You Don't Mess With the Zohan

A Mossad agent fakes his own death so he can move to New York and become a hair stylist.

Source: Cinema Source

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If there’s anyone who would seem the obvious choice to put a comedic spin on Israeli-Palestinian relations, it would be Adam Sandler, no? I mean, how can the guy who starred in such gems as Little Nicky, Click, and I Now Pronounce You Chuck & Larry not have something cogent to say about the politics of the Middle East in You Don't Mess with the Zohan?

Yep, Sandler starring as Zohan, an Israeli counter-terrorist agent, makes about as much sense as his last two films being co-written by such pillars of the film industry as Alexander Payne & Jim Taylor (Chuck & Larry, Sideways) and Judd Apatow (Zohan, Knocked Up). It makes about as much sense as having Mariah Carey make an actual speaking (not singing) cameo or Michael Buffer playing a role that’s not himself.

Sandler as an Israeli counter-terrorist -- what's not to believe?

In other words, Zohan is one big mess. The central “joke” of the film is that Zohan, after years of single-handedly dispensing of Palestinian threats to Israel, has decided that he would rather serve the world in another fashion – as a hairdresser. He makes his way to the U.S., but can only find work on the Palestinian side of a neighborhood divided along Israeli-Palestinian lines. At the same time, he can’t escape his past, as Salim (Rob Schneider, essentially wearing blackface), who shares a history with Zohan, alerts Zohan’s mortal enemy, The Phantom (John Turturro), to his presence in the U.S.

Not one to deal in subtlety, Sandler makes sure to play up the “gay” aspects of Zohan – obsession with hair, Mariah Carey t-shirts, ultra-short tight shorts – while at the same time asserting Zohan’s inherent heterosexuality by having him have sex with almost every woman that crosses his path. This is much the same tack that Sandler took in Chuck & Larry – he’ll broach a gay storyline, but makes sure to let everybody know that he’s very much on the straight side. Can’t let anyone intimate you might be gay, Sandler!

John, just because you did two movies with Sandler doesn't mean you have to continue. Hightail it back to the Coen Brothers!

Another continuing joke throughout Zohan is that hummus, in addition to being a delicious dip, is actually a multi-use food for Israelis – toothpaste, glass cleaner, hair gel, explosive. This bit gets old even before Zohan leaves Israel, so you can imagine how excruciating it is by the time it pops up for the hundredth time at the end of the film. That’s right about the time that Dave Matthews (!) shows up as a hillbilly-for-hire – and when the film manages to sink to its lowest point.

What’s most insulting about Zohan, though, is the idea that any audience members would gain insight into intolerance or acceptance from the film. Sandler sheds absolutely no light on the Israeli-Palestinian conflict and, in fact, might’ve set it back a decade or so. The fact that Apatow now appears to have fallen head over heels for Sandler (they are planning on doing a stand-up comedy film together) makes it even more disheartening. Sandler is capable of doing a comedy film that’s both funny and interesting – see 50 First Dates. You Don’t Mess with the Zohan is neither.

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• Arts > Movies / Film > Mainstream Movies