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Friday, March 7, 2008

Dallas-based 7-Eleven introduces non-milk-based, caffeinated, 102-calorie knockoff of Starbucks’ Frappuccino

7-Eleven, Inc. is introducing a coffee-flavored Slurpee called the Slurpuccino. It's not a milk-based product, but is caffeinated, fat-free, and "has 61 calories per 8-ounce serving, unlike most frozen cappuccinos on the market," sniffs the release. Hnh ... who do ya suppose they could be talking about?

Developed for 7-Eleven by The Coca-Cola Company, the Slurpuccino drink is a new "beverage platform" with Café Latté as the first flavor offered, with hazelnut coming in the fall. The coffee- and caramel-flavored frozen drink targets young adults ages 18-34, both male and female. More than 75 percent of Slurpee drinkers are under the age of 34.

The release quotes a company spokesman saying that coffee flavors are "hot" right now. Do tell. Also, an 8-ounce Slurpuccino -- the same 8 ounces that has 61 calories -- has 5 mg of caffeine.

Do they even sell an 8-ounce cup? No, says the guy at the 7-Eleven located at 15th Street and Custer in Plano. The smallest size they offer is 12 ounces. So why give calories and caffeine for a size they don't sell? Confusing.

Posted by T.G.



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sisterhazel, says:

Wonder what the base is, if not milk. Maybe we don't really want to know!

Anonymous

1 year, 9 months ago
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Pavel Lishin, says:

Oh, I bet it's milk. Just from a lesser-known mammal. I hear that once you actually manage to hook up the little doo-dads to rat nipples, it's pretty cost effective.

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1 year, 9 months ago
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Scott Doyle, says:

once you actually manage

Does that mean you attempted and failed to do this yourself, so you asked around on the webernets?

I saw that heaping tumor on your rat, so I'm quite interested in your answer.

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1 year, 9 months ago
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Pavel Lishin, says:

Neither of those follow from what I said, and neither are true.

Just think about it - rats have tiny nipples. It can't be easy.

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1 year, 9 months ago
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Scott Doyle, says:

Don't get so defensive. Doyle doesn't care if it follows your discussion, I'm pretty sure anybody who's met you shares this concern.

I just don't want to drink any potentially carcinogenic rat milk you might have in your apartment.

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1 year, 9 months ago
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Pavel Lishin, says:

Don't worry, I don't have any rat milk. I just have the soy milk that's apparently full of feminine hormones, and the regular vitamin D milk that's full of bovine growth hormone.

Does this mean that I'll soon sprout luscious udders? Stay tuned, folks. Stay tuned.

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1 year, 9 months ago
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Alex Bentley, says:

Pavel, that obviously means that Scott will drink any non-carcinogenic rat milk that you happen to have. Break out the Cheerios and rat milk! You'll also be happy to hear that you have a friend in <a href="http://www.thisislondon.co.uk/showbiz/article-23421756-details/Vegan+Heather+Mills'+latest+bizarre+outburst:+'Why+don't+we+drink+rats'+milk'/article.do">Heather Mills</a>. Meanwhile, I'm pretty sure The Simpsons proffered the idea of rat milk a long time ago:

<img src="http://img462.imageshack.us/img462/1238/malk7ax.jpg">

Staff

1 year, 9 months ago
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Scott Doyle, says:

I like to consider myself open-minded, Alex.

But I'd have to witness the milking and never lose eye-sight of it before I'd consider consumption. I has no trust, and when rat milk is involved - it's serious business.

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1 year, 9 months ago
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Pavel Lishin, says:

I know, Alex. What, you think I'm a font of original material? Pretty much everything I say is second hand.

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1 year, 9 months ago
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What do you think?

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