Gay List Daily’s must-do events: Nov. 13-17

We were gonna give you 13 events, but because of the downturn in the economy, we can only share five of them with you.

In honor of November 13 (T.G.I.N.F.), we have a list of the top 13 events in the city to keep you occupied. But because of the downturn in the economy, we can only share five of them with you. For the other eight, you’ll need to buy us a cocktail. One for each, of course.

First Rate: The Best of Second City

Nightly at 8:00 p.m. through Sunday, November 16

2:00 p.m. matinees on Saturday and Sunday

Now that Tina Fey’s gone from Saturday Night Live (and Sarah Palin’s one step closer to her beloved “Rapture”), sketch comedy is going to be a little, well, sketchy. So turn to the new generation of master improvisers in the world-famous troupe that spawned such household names as Mike Myers, the Belushi Brothers, Julia Louis-Dreyfus and Mrs. Butterworth. (OK, she’s a famous household name simply because she’s delicious.)

Tickets $14 - $65; Majestic Theatre; www.ticketmaster.com

Jesus Take The Mic: Amy Grant

Friday, November 14, 2008, 8:00 p.m.

Christian singing superstar Amy Grant makes us feel closer to God. She’s a really good girl, has a beautiful voice and she made a great beard (or “Jesus Beard” as was the case) for us during adolescence. When our straight friends asked which girl we were dating? “Oh, this girl named Amy. She lives out of state. But boy, wait ‘til you meet her and get a load of her knockers.” Yeah, we had ‘em totally fooled.

Tickets $30 - $50; Will Rogers Auditorium; www.ticketmaster.com

We Bring You GLAAD Tidings: GLAAD Mix Dallas

Friday, November 14, 6:00 – 7:30 p.m.

When’s the last time you walked into JR’s and got a free drink? (Besides the coffee they poured down your throat at 2:05 a.m. to sober up your ass.) Join our good friends from GLAAD and enjoy a complimentary cocktail featuring Black Cherry or Green Apple vodka from Smirnoff. You’ll also get to learn more about the work GLAAD does, but don’t worry, this isn’t Scientology. They won’t make you drink the Kool-Aid. Or even pay to hear the good news.

Free Entry & One Sponsored Cocktail; JR’s; www.glaaddfw.com; For more information about GLAAD, please contact Chris Tompkins at (323) 634-2039 or tompkins@glaad.org.

The Big Double O: Secret Agent Gaybingo

Saturday, November 15, doors at 5:00 p.m., games at 6:00 p.m.

If one “O” is good, then two must be really good. So we’re going to pretend Daniel Craig is onstage at The Rose Room calling this month’s bingo games. Sure, it’ll probably be a bitter drag queen, but we can dream, can’t we?

Must be 21+ to attend Gaybingo; Tickets $25 for all 15 games; Rose Room (inside S4); www.rcdallas.org

Take A Left At Conjunction Junction: School House Rocks Gala

Monday, November 17, 7:00 – 10:00 p.m.

Oh, the fun we had with Interplanet Janet and Lolly, Queen of the Adverbs. To this day, we still refer back to the animated music videos that taught us good grammar and just enough about politics for a late Saturday morning. Well, that was School House Rock and this is School House Rocks (with an “s”), a fundraiser for GLSEN (The Gay, Lesbian and Straight Education Network), which includes entertainment, food and a beer/wine/soda bar.

Tickets $100; House of Blues, White Swan Building;

(817) 999-0199 (GLSEN questions); glsendallas.blogspot.com