Wednesday, November 26, 2008

Movie review: Four Christmases

Families can be cruel - particularly these ones.

By John P. Meyer

Fresh from making his majorly entertaining documentary about unlikely arcade game celebrities (The King of Kong), somebody somewhere convinced Seth Gordon that it might be a good idea for him to direct a holiday film starring Vince Vaughn and Reese Witherspoon.

And, who knows? Maybe Four Christmases will turn out to be a good career move. It shows, at the very least, that he (Gordon) can shepherd a stable full of heavyweight Hollywood talent (such as the Oscar-winning Ms. Witherspoon, the Oscar-winning Sissy Spacek, the Oscar-winning Robert Duvall, the Oscar-winning Jon Voight and - um - the MTV Movie Award-winning Mr. Vaughn) along the way to putting a coherent narrative feature film in the can.

The fact that it's a not particularly entertaining narrative feature film might be viewed as a mere technicality.

Here's the life-lesson stuffing that puffs up Four Christmases (and since I'm giving it to you gratis, feel free to forgo the expense of actually seeing the movie): one can learn a lot about oneself (and one's companion) by visiting with other people who know stuff about oneself (or one's companion). Quite the insight, I grant you. Worth spending 82 minutes of one's time in the dark amongst a group of strangers seeking questionable holiday cheer beyond the confines of hearth and home? Read on.

Busted at the ticket counter

The PG-13 (for "some sexual humor and language") action begins as a guy named "Kent" attempts to pick up a gal named "Daphne" in a hotel bar. Being from North Dakota, "Kent's" technique is fairly progressive, but "Daphne" doesn't seem to be falling for it. Until he goes all medieval on her sassy ass.

Turns out "Kent" and "Daphne" are actually Brad and Kate (Mr. Vaughn and Ms. Witherspoon), a longstanding couple who are doing the role-playing thing (ducking out for a quickie in the ladies room) in order to spice up their well-rutted sex lives. Brad and Kate, we soon discover, are unmarried and happy that way, and have been spending the past several Christmas breaks flying off to various exotic beach locales (this year it's to be Fiji), leaving behind all their familial entanglements and just kicking back with a tropical beverage. And, presumably, doing some more of that role-playing thing.

Furthermore, they've been leading their families to believe that they are, in fact, using their holiday vacations to help out orphans in Kosovo or sick kids in Zimbabwe - name your favorite cause, and they'll eventually feature it in one of their wool-pulling public service constructs.

This year, however, fog puts a damper on their escape plans, as a bank of the pea soup variety settles in over San Francisco International, leading to across-the-board flight cancellations. While Brad argues futilely (if amusingly) with the ticket agent, a "Live on Five" variety of news crew arrives, pointing their camera at the straw-hatted, Hawaiian-shirted, shorts-clad duo, broadcasting their plight to all within the network's viewing range - including the families of Brad and Kate.

They are SO busted!

Dwight Yoakam or Clint Howard? Tough call, really.

Giving up on their flight to Fiji, at least for a day, they decide (in light of the rash of phone calls they've been receiving from family members) to visit their various relatives. Since both their sets of parents are divorced and living apart, this turns into - per the title - the equivalent of four separate Christmas visits.

So here's your Christmas countdown, and that's what the exercise of sitting through this chronicle of mean-spirited, grudge-harboring, dysfunctional (yet loving) families becomes - a countdown, while one finishes his or her popcorn, sucks up the last of one's soda, chortles good-naturedly at the feel-good warm-hearted fun of it all and then departs the theater for whatever remains of the turkey carcass:

4) Brad's dad's place, where we meet - natch - Brad's dad, Howard (Robert Duvall, playing a loser-ish, boozer-ish, gone-to-seed ladies man), whose current interests involve watching his grown sons wrestle each other past the point of injury while making sure that Brad feels like a nancy-boy (or word to that effect) for not following in the footsteps of his professional cage-fighting brothers, Dallas (Tim McGraw) and Denver (Jon Favreau, who might ought to have rested on his directorial laurels from earlier in the year rather than returning to act in this turkey). Events come to an overhead when the three bros take to the roof in order to mount the new satellite dish. Sound familiar?

3) Kate's mom's place, where Kate's mom, Marilyn (Mary Steenburgen) and her aunt, Donna (Colleen Camp) and her sister, Courtney (Kristin Chenoweth) reveal all sorts of embarrassing and psychologically damaging things about Kate while snuggling up quite amicably to Brad. The highlight of this visit is a trip to the local church (which preaches something like the Gospel of the Risen Sports Fan), presided over by Marilyn's new beau, Pastor Phil (Dwight Yoakam, looking a lot like Clint Howard did twenty years ago). Brad steals the show in the nativity play while Kate fumbles her cue; this episode ends up being the comedic highlight of the film.

Jesus, Mary and Joseph!

2) Brad's mom's place, where Brad's mom, Paula (Sissy Spacek) is having a quiet little dinner with her new boyfriend - who turns out to be one of Brad's old school chums. Oh, the creepy Oedipal tension! Brad's bros make a return appearance for a spirited round of Taboo, having spent the earlier part of the day wreaking havoc at Howard's place.

1) Kate's dad's place, where Kate reconnects with her dad, Creighton (Jon Voight), along with the entire crew from Kate's mom's place. Residing amongst this crowd is a character named Jim who is played, interestingly enough, by Steve Wiebe, the subject of director Gordon's King of Kong documentary. It's a small role, but it's kind of neat that Mr. Wiebe got the part.

Somewhere in the countdown between 2 and 1, the slapstick goofiness turns to syrupy sap-stick sweetness, with Brad and Kate recognizing the hollowness of their relationship and beginning to question their previously-held determination to avoid marriage and child-rearing (because they were having so much fun as things were). They end up by leaving open the possibility of both getting married and having children, thereby invalidating their previously-held convictions and setting the stage for them to end up just like all their thoroughly unenviable relations.

In response to which notion I can only manage to say:

BOOO!!!

Related stories

• Movie review: Nothing Like the Holidays (Dec. 12, 2008)

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• Arts > Movies / Film > Mainstream Movies

Comments

Chris Kidd Verified

This film smells of hollywood desparation at the holidays, I bet it'll play great in India and vietnam when its released there in march ;)

11 months, 2 weeks ago ( Link to this comment | Suggest removal )