It's football season again, and that can only mean one thing: 100% accurate predictions by our sage staff of professional prognosticators. Our historical record cannot be denied: Pegasus News' panel of overpaid NFL experts --Justin Smith, Chris Curotolo, Mike Bullock and Todd Maternowski-- has proven time and time again that this publication is the only one you, the professional sports gambler, will ever need.
This season, we have invited a weekly panel of celebrity seers to join in spirited debate over the Game of the Week. The panel will change every week: this week features regular Pegnews contributors Captain Koons (via his Charlie-hatin' compadre Todd), Jules (with a mouthful of Justin) and The Gimp (who subleases a small room in Mike's house). They will offer their expert commentary on the titanic Week 6 clash between the Oakland Raiders and the New Orleans Saints.
Click on the pic to enlarge the awesomeness
Captain Koons: "Thank you for seeing me, Modern Al Davis. I knew your 70s counterpart, Relevant Al Davis. We were good friends, and not just because I look exactly like him. Davis was a true friend, and he knew how to run a winning football team. Loyalty. Cheating. Coaching. Coaches. Actual football players. It was a great time to be alive. But as the league's foremost visionary, Relevant Al Davis knew that he would one day become the Webster's Dictionary entry for 'Batshit Insane.' He knew that the horrifying undead lich he would one day become would drive his once-proud franchise deep into the bowels of shame. And that is why, nearly thirty years ago, he gave me this: a fully functional human brain. As a promise to your honorable former self, I've kept it in my rectum since 1983. I did this out of my respect for your 70s self. And now, Modern Al Davis, I pass this functional human brain onto you, so that you may use it to guide the Raiders down the long and perilous road to mediocrity. Here you go, son. (schlupp)"
Jules: (grabs brain, takes a daddy-sized bite) "My, that's one TASTY BRAIN!"
The Gimp: "Mmmrrpff!! Mmmmmhmmmrrgg!!"
