It's football season again, and that can only mean one thing: 100% accurate predictions by our sage staff of professional prognosticators. Our historical record cannot be denied: Pegasus News' panel of overpaid NFL experts --Justin Smith, Chris Curotolo, Mike Bullock and Todd Maternowski-- has proven time and time again that this publication is the only one you, the professional sports gambler, will ever need.
Click on the amazingly accurate picks to enlarge
This season, we have invited a weekly panel of celebrity seers to join in spirited debate over the Game of the Week. The panel will change every week: this week features regular Pegnews contributors Dionysus (channeled through the Muse of Justin Smith) and The Oracle at Delphi (via her oiled-up, naked soothsaying buddy Todd). They will offer their expert commentary on the titanic Week 4 clash between the Washington Redskins and the Dallas Cowboys.
Dionysus:
"Its time to drink! Its time to dance!
Let's celebrate the dove of Romo's romance!
We have all heard the lovely Jessica and her sound in orotorio,
But it's not her he loves, it's his dear sweet T.O.
...
Will he deliver the pigskin to his lovely graceful hands?
Or will the double and triple team leave open Witten to the delight of fans?
The running attack of Redskins' Portis AKA Bro Sweets,
Will most likely be destroyed by the Dallas DL and their amazing feats.
...
So come drink and dance! And let us make love under the fire!
And bring new heights to this insatiable desire!
The game itself is won! The Redskins don't have a prayer!
I don't think it's possible for this rhyme to get any gayer!
The Oracle: "Love of money and nothing else will ruin the Redskins. Whenever a Wuerffel shall become sovereign king of the Skins, then, pig-faced she-demon, flee by the stone-strewn FedExField, flee, and think not to stand fast, nor shame to be chicken-hearted! The strength of Portises or Cooleys cannot stop the foe. No, he will not leave off, I say, until he rends the knee from the Theismann. Apollo has spoken."
