Theater review part troix: Altar Boyz

by John Garcia of John Garcia's The Column

NSYNC. Backstreet Boys. New Kids on the Block. 98 Degrees, O'Town. Spice Girls. What do I have in common with these five boy bands and one girl band? Sure, you could say I dance like them ... NOT. The common thread here is that I have attended each of their concerts.

Totally true fact and I'm not ashamed to tell the world! I have sat in a sea of screaming pubescent girls, cougar moms, the boyfriends/husbands they dragged to these concerts, and gay men. Did I scream "Justin!" "Kevin!" "Nick!" "Scary Spice!" -- yes I did. But I am also addicted to pro football (go Colts!), so there!

However, my only reason to see O'Town live is because I watched the reality series of their making and wanted to see how much of a live train wreck they really were -- and I wasn't disappointed on that theory when I saw them.

But the other four boy bands I am an actual fan of, especially the first two mentioned. I sincerely did enjoy and love their pop ballads and thumping dance tracks -- those melodies really do get you hooked. But then add on those layers of lush, tight harmonies and dazzling, eye-popping choreography -- well, what else could you ask for? Sure, it's a packaged formula, but it has been working for years.

Now I never went hog wild like buying lunch boxes, backpacks, pencils, dolls, and bed sheets of them like some fans. But I do own a t-shirt of each of their concerts. I don't wear them in public for fear of getting stoned by rockers or C&W fanatics. So where do the Spice Girls fit into all this? Read on and you'll find out.

Marc Kessier and Ken Davenport conceived Altar Boyz (now playing at the KD Studio Theatre in Dallas) as this terrific spoof on boy bands, but with an added twist. They are an Ohio boy group who are all Catholic (except for one -- he's Jewish), on their final leg of their "Raise the Praise" tour. This tour, by the way, is sponsored by Sony, which gave them lovely gift baskets backstage.

Altar Boyz first incarnation was in September 2004 at the New York Musical Theatre Festival. After a series of rewrites and retooling, the pop musical opened Off Broadway at Dodger Stages (today it is now called New World Stages) in March 2005. It won that same year the Outer Critics Circle Award for Outstanding Off-Broadway Musical. As of today, it is still playing to packed houses in New York.

I first saw Altar Boyz in New York on a windy, blistering cold night back in 2006. It was dead-on in regards to the personalities of the boy band members, but they piled on tiers of side-splitting comedy, superb choreography, gorgeous vocals, all wrapped up in a fantastic pop flavored score.

My second time to see the show was when the first national tour came to Dallas at the Majestic Theater in 2007. In my review I even said that the tour cast was actually much funnier than the New York cast. When that review came out I was personally invited to see the show again and to meet all the Altar Boyz backstage. That was personally a giggling, unexpected, and yet quite special treat for me and my guest.

On Friday August 7, I attended the opening night of Uptown Players production of this wickedly funny boy band "concert." And while there were a couple of minor chinks that cover this glistening production, the overall results are first-rate all the way.

I would have to say that the one recurring problem I had with Uptown's version was how they did not really stick to the formula of making each cast member truly "resemble" and "reflect" the actual boy band members that they were representing. While one actor did do just that, the rest did not, and I missed that quality. The New York and National tour actors really embellished and brought true mannerisms, physicality, and "aura" of the actual boy band members. That was a quality that made the show that much funnier. They were not "mocking" the actual band member, but giving us the audience more of a "wink, wink, nudge, nudge" of guessing who they were really "representing" on stage. But, if you are not a follower of boy bands, none of this will not matter to you whatsoever when you see Uptown's production.

I honestly don't know who came up with the rule that critics have to attend opening night. As an actor I know that on opening night you are still working out the kinks, problems, the flow, scenery, lighting, sound, etc. No one is pitch perfect on opening night. You are also still finding out where the laughs are, or not. What is working or not within the subtext, characterization, jokes, etc. As an actor, it is just such a cruel factor of live theater knowing you have critics reviewing a show that you are still working out the kinks, only this time it's in front of a live audience.

Having said, there were a few boo-boos that popped up here and there on opening night of Altar Boyz. Sometimes the harmonies were not as lush, tight and robust as they should be. There were a couple of high notes that cracked or did not sustain to the very end. Finally during some of the choreography they were not in sync, and in a couple of numbers they forgot a step here and there.

BUT, like I said, I reviewed this on their opening night. So I know that by now these minor dents have vanished because they have had more performances under their belts. But I have to review on what I saw on the night I attended. This is why I prefer attending shows a week after they open. It gives a cast time to fix those mistakes from opening night and have a couple of live performances under their belt. Trust me, it makes a world of difference. Ask any actor!

Julie Moroney's lighting design is utterly brilliant and polished. The girl knows her color palette on how to design for a rock concert. The stage is covered in neon, sparkling colors of every hue. She designed swirling gobos just to give the concert that extra pop & pizzazz. She even has soft pink twinkling lights that trim the stage floor. Finally Moroney designed a dazzling creation of lighting that frames the video screen to let us know how many souls are saved in the audience. Moroney's lighting design is spectacular.

Clare Floyd Devires scenic design is minimalist, but purposeful. She has created this funky, interesting back wall of iron and metal that gives the set this hip dance club vibe, as though this is where the band happened to get booked into. For the stage floor she has painted a festive, colorful design that complements Moroney's lighting.

Finally Suzi Cranford's costumes are all age appropriate and just right for each boy band member. But it would have been nice to see a rhinestone or two. Boy bands do wear sparkly costumes on stage. But that's just me and my glitter addiction talking out loud.

The four piece combo band under music director Adam Wright was impeccable. The great techno beats and keyboards sounded like we were inside a DJ's booth with our cans on listening to the latest hits. Oh, "cans" in DJ lingo means headphones. Special applause also goes to the fantastic percussion provided by Steve Begnoche. Wright kept a perfect balance of band and voice, never once allowing the band to overpower the vocals.

You know you just get to a point where you don't know what else to say about the talents of certain directors. Cheryl Denson has yet to direct a flop in my book. Every production I have seen her at the helm has never disappointed, and here she once again achieves glowing success. Her staging here is right on the money and the pace is spot on. I don't know if it was Denson's idea or the cast to update some of the material (such as the hysterical updates of "Adam Lambert" and "Twitter"), but a standing ovation on those implements into the book. It actually helps in keeping the material fresh and updated. Ms. Denson once again proves here why she is consistently at the top of her game as one of the best directors in this town.

John De Los Santos's choreography was a flawless fusion of pop, jazz and hip hop that had these performers dancing up a storm to. However, there were times when a couple of the boys had some difficulty in mastering the choreography. Santos gives us Beyonce, NYSNC, Michael Jackson's "Thriller," Backstreet Boys, Fosse, So You Think You Can Dance, and everything else in between with his dazzling choreography. I especially loved the little homage to West Side Story right in the middle of one dance number. The choreography is hyper speed fast, eye-popping, and really antes up the energy level of the show. Hell, I was exhausted after one dance number, and I was in the audience!

All five actors who portray the members of Altar Boyz deliver highly energetic, crowd-pleasing, thoroughly entertaining performances -- there is not a weak one in the bunch. Their chemistry is endearing and shows that they are an ensemble, not five separate actors trying to out sing or achieve the loudest laughs. Instead they worked together to accomplish the best laughs as a unit, and that's what the show demands.

Now, I will admit that I did miss the great, side-splitting ad-libs and sight gags that the New York and Tour casts did when I saw those productions, such as the accidental throwing of a bra from a planted audience member. Or the hysterical ad-libs during "Something About You" or the sections involving Luke and his "exhaustion" issues. But once again, I think those will happen once the actors get more comfortable with their live audiences.

"Matthew" is the leader of the band, so think Justin Timberlake or Brian Littrell, the role is superbly portrayed here by the very tall Alexander Ross. His silky smooth tenor vocals handled the score with peerless musicianship. Ross sings one of my personal favorite numbers from the score, "Something About You," and he did not disappoint. He also was one of the strongest dancers in the company. What I found particularly touching was his chemistry and close friendship with "Mark" (Drew Kelly). It was both funny, yet sweet. Finally, I felt that Ross was the strongest of the five actors that worked best in dealing with the live audience -- talking to them, making comments, etc. This is my second time to review Mr. Ross, and once again he delivers a radiant performance.

At the beginning of this review I mentioned the Spice Girls. Sure, this is a boy band, but in Alter Boyz one of them is flamboyant and has some of the qualities of each of those five British gals -- so I have to compare him more to them than a boy band member -- -and that would be "Mark," played to hilarious results by Drew Kelly. "Mark" is not tailored at all to be Lance Bass of NSYNC. Sure, both are blonde. But remember your boy band history and facts. Bass was not out of the closet during those glory days of NSYNC. Also, Bass vocally was the bass/baritone of the group, not the high tenor. He was quiet and actually shy in the media glare during the height of their popularity.

Mr. Kelly nails down perfectly the characterization of "Mark," who never actually comes out, but the guy is quite fey and over the top. Kelly's facial expressions are hysterical, slaying the audience in laughter. Watch him during "Something About You" -- it was the comedic highlight of the evening. Kelly did struggle just a tad with the soaring, vocal riffs that are composed in the solo "Epiphany." but he still did a wonderful job vocally with the song. So how does Kelly's performance match the Spice girls? Let's see: Sporty -- he dances full out and handles a mean gold bell, Scary -- just look at the glares he gives the girl who Matthew sings to, Baby -- he's the youngest, Posh for his fashion sense (he is the costume designer for the band), and Ginger -- well, just look at what he does with the lyrics in "Rhythm In Me" for that connection. All of these qualities result in Kelly giving an uproarious, fantastic performance.

Both Brian Daniels (as "Luke") and Michael Tuck (as "Abraham") deliver swell performances, but both had a couple of odd character choices that I found a little out of sync with the original concept of the show.

Daniels does not truly represent "physically" on whom the role is modeled after. "Luke" is the tattooed, bad boy who just got out of rehab. So think Donnie Wahlberg, AJ McLean, Joey Fatone, even Marky Mark. Luke is the white boy who thinks and acts full thug --a wannabe rapper per se. He tries to be Eminem, but comes off more like Brian Austin Green. Daniels physically looks just too choir boyish and innocent and small in body frame for the role. Thus some of the "thug" lingo and behavior doesn't come off as funny as it was when I've seen other actors do the role. Also his big "hip hop" dance solo wasn't as athletic and full out krunk/hip hop as I've seen before. But Daniels does give it his all in what he can do dance-wise with that solo and got a huge round of applause from the opening night audience for his efforts. While he might not look like the role demands, Daniels still does sing wonderfully and achieves some festive laughs when the issues of his recent stint at a rehab center for "exhaustion" were brought up.

Tuck portrays "Abraham," the Jewish member of this Ohio Catholic boy band. You read that right. What I found perplexing was Tuck's acting choice to make him sound more "street" wise, like Luke. I honestly don't remember that from past actors portraying that role. I remember them giving the role much more Jewish overtones in both voice and mannerisms. Again, a minor quibble, because Tuck still is terrific in the production. He delivers a show stopper of a number with the rollicking solo "Everybody Fits," complete with Lamb chop sock puppets.

When I saw the show in New York and on tour, the role that I liked least was "Juan." In both productions I felt the actors playing this role were offensive in stereotyping the character with an over-the-top Spanish accent and mannerisms. None of his jokes worked for me at all. Period. Neither did his one big vocal solo. As a Latino, I found the role degrading and mocking my own Latin culture.

Angel Velasco as "Juan" in Uptown's version completely changed my opinions on that role. Mr. Velasco delivered a performance that was a hundred times better than BOTH the New York and national tour actors who tackled the role. He did not over exaggerate the dialect whatsoever. In fact, he played with variations in volume and pitch to make it sound both hilarious and respectful. Previous actors turned the role into an unflattering caricature. Velasco steered clearly away from all that. Instead he gave the role a very sexy and masculine swagger, sweet innocence, and had some of the best comedic timing, pace, and delivery within the cast. He actually turned "La Vida Eternal," Juan's big solo -- a number I hated before -- into one of the show stopping numbers of the entire night. The role is weakly written within the book, but Velasco turned it into a scene-stealing, dynamic, stand out performance.

After seeing Altar Boyz in New York, over dessert I said to my friend, who had seen the show with me," You know, this would be the PERFECT show for Uptown Players." And I was right!

I sincerely mean no disrespect to any other theater company in our metroplex, but I knew that Uptown would know exactly how to tackle physically the show, bring on board just the right production team, and really make the material flourish into side-splitting laughter.

Producers Jeff Rane & Craig Lynch knew that they had the daunting challenge of making their version of Altar Boyz just as good as the Off-Broadway version. You cannot do this show without outstanding production values and staff, a top notch pop band, and a talented group of five guys. Well, they did just that. They succeeded in producing yet another smash hit.

Uptown Players is going to have to build a balcony to fit everyone who wants to see this show, because I know it will be a major sellout smash. Oh, and bring a sharpie, because I'm sure the boys will sign your playbill. But if you're a female (or male for that matter) and you are getting Matthew's autograph, make sure Mark doesn't see you. Why? Well let's just say you might find your car tires slashed "by accident." Praise!

GRADE: A