Restaurant Review: Vern’s Kitchen in Deep Ellum Dallas

by The Law Reviewers of The Law Reviewers

It's a new year, people, and that means it’s time for a fresh start and a new beginning… unless you're the Dallas Cowboys. In which case, please continue to wallow in mediocrity (not that we're bitter). So, has everyone made their New Year's resolutions? Down here at The Law Reviewers' headquarters and bait shop, we resolved to stop settling for the same mediocre chain restaurant or flashy fast-casual-New-American-sports-pub-steakhouse and try to find the most authentic and interesting places that Dallas has to offer. Then we went to Chotchkie's for some X-treme Pizza Shooters®. Then we remembered our resolutions and went to Vern's Kitchen in Deep Ellum (free parking in lot across the street).

Vern's is the type of place that doesn't have a website or a PR firm on retainer, but instead has the appeal and comfort of your grandma's kitchen. In fact, the sheer comfort-foodiness of Vern's Kitchen is so powerful, it will stop a speeding diet. Vern's recently relocated from a free standing spot at Main and Exposition to its new location and changed its name from Vern's Place as Vern's granddaughter took over the operations to continue the work of nourishing the neighborhood. There's nothing fancy or presumptuous about the place, just good home cooked meals, made fresh daily – which just happens to be the credo at the top of their newly printed paper menus.

Your server, who will introduce herself before you are two steps in the door, will offer you tea or lemonade as you walk to your table. Opt for a mixture of both, what our server (the effervescent Rachel) called an "Uptown." Menus are extraneous at Vern's. After sipping your Uptown, head on over to the counter at the far end of the dining room and take in the day’s offerings which change/rotate daily. There was too much to choose from on our visit: chicken-fried steak, short ribs, fried chicken, neck bones, beef stew, turnip greens, candied yams, mashed potatoes, black eyed peas, green beans, corn bread… You pick your entrée, a couple of vegetables, and choose between corn bread or a roll. You might as well ask for a to-go container right then because you'll get way more food than you’ll ever finish all by yourself.

The chicken-fried steak is hands down the best in the city; the thick, perfectly seasoned coating enveloped a tender and thin cut of beef. We opted to accompany the CFS with mashed potatoes and black-eyed peas. The black-eyed peas were salty and earthy, and the mashed potatoes were creamy and fluffy. The short ribs were smothered in gravy and fall-off-the-bone tender, and they're clearly popular because they sold out on another visit. We also tried the neck bones, which were steeped in aromatic gravy. True to the name, you have to pick through the bones to get to the succulent meat, but, for the more adventurous eaters and/or Predators among us, they're well worth the effort.

With the short ribs and neck bones, we had some turnip greens that were pleasantly pungent and candied yams, which were sweet enough to have for dessert. On another visit, we tried the beef stew which was a hearty mixture of vegetables in broth with giant chunks of meat. The meat was tender, but you had to cut through a lot of fat to get to it. The fresh corn bread was earthy with a slight hint of sweetness to the crust which we enjoyed.

Dessert choices consist of an assortment of homemade pies and banana pudding. We were stuffed, but Rachel convinced us to try the pudding. Banana pudding is banana pudding, but, at Vern's Kitchen, it's mixed with cake (possibly coffee or pound) and 'nilla wafers. The creamy pudding mixed perfectly with the moist cake/cookie. It'll make you smile so wide that Bill Cosby will want residuals.

We were too drowsy from eating to take note of the individual prices, but the cost for three of us, with drinks and desserts, was $44. Thus, with a post-Thanksgiving feel in our bellies, we waddled out the door and into the cold Deep Ellum sunlight. Two doors down, the gracefully-aged Café Brazil beckoned with its bottomless cups of coffee; we opted for George Costanza naps under our desks instead.

Vern's Kitchen lives up to its name; the friendly staff and delicious, home cooked food make you feel like you’ve been invited over for Sunday dinner every day of the week (except on Saturdays when it's closed). If the Cowboys had shown one ounce of the heart and soul you get in Vern's cooking, they’d still be playing football in January instead of wondering when Jerry Jones is going to name Jessica Simpson to coach the team (at least she couldn't do much worse!). On our Unbelievable-Wade-Phillips-Quotes Five Gavel Scale, where one gavel is "I promise to change", and five gavels is "The better team lost," we give Vern's Kitchen a well-deserved four and a half gavels, or "We won the fourth quarter."