Movie review: Paul Blart: Mall Cop

by John P. Meyer

Middle-brow comedy with a good heart and no profanity. (Dammit.)

One thing you can take to the bank (though hopefully not the one in the mall) after watching Paul Blart: Mall Cop: Kevin James pilots a mean Segway. (Though I'm totally not buying the bit where he Knievels from one roof to another on the device: suspension of disbelief can only carry a chunky fellow so far.)

Director Steve Carr's off-the-wall comedic thriller (co-written by Mr. James) is charming in its way, and there are some decent laughs to be had in the viewing process, but this isn't a film to write home about - unless your home looks like this.

From a kid-friendly standpoint, Blart delivers: with its PG rating, there's little or no profanity in evidence; the loser-ish good guy comes out a winner; and the humor is broad and unsophisticated. Plus, it has a good heart - which carries pedestrian material a long way, in my book.

Kevin plays Blart as a hangdog single dad whose mother (Shirley Knight) and adolescent daughter (the charming and talented Raini Rodriguez) work hard to support their under-actualized, romantically-stunted breadwinner - partially by supplying him with doses of sugary treats to keep him from keeling over at odd moments (he's hypoglycemic), and supplementally by trying to find him a girlfriend (they sign him up for an online dating service, stretching the truth in regard to his physical fitness - did I mention he's chunky?).

Paul works as a veteran security guard at a local mall, where he commands the respect of almost no one (the exceptions being his boss, played by Peter Gerety, and his mall merchant buddies, played by Jamal Mixon and Erick Avari). When a svelte, doe-eyed beauty named Amy (luscious Jayma Mays) sets up a kiosk hawking hair extensions, Blart puts the mall security cams to good use by - um - keeping an eye on her from security HQ. He also finds occasion to cruise back and forth in front of her kiosk on his Segway before taking a leap of faith and emerging from his shell to introduce himself. He even gives her a lift to her car after closing time, somehow managing to squeeze onto the people mover behind her in order to pilot it out to the parking lot. Egotistical Stuart (Stephen Rannazzisi, from Samantha Who?) appears as a first reel heavy to complicate this potential relationship.

When a band of acrobat thieves (on skateboards and BMX bikes) unleashes a stunt-intensive plot to hijack the mall and make off with a gazillion dollars worth of credit card account numbers, Blart assumes the role of unlikely savior to the hostages - including both would-be girlfriend Amy and the predictably sniveling-when-the-chips-are-down Stuart.

In unlikely (and thoroughly amusing) support is a peripheral character named Pahud (Adhir Kalyan), who - by virtue of his connection to the cell phone Blart has borrowed from a friend - provides backup in the form of GPS tracking. And comedic asides.

After Blart goes Macgyver on the hijackers' criminal asses (excuse my French), he earns the respect of all involved - including the blowhard SWAT team leader who bullied him in high school (played sneeringly by Bobby Cannavale).

The fact that this all sounds so lame as I write about it is a testament to the efforts of the cast and crew, who went a long way towards making a semblance of a polyester purse from the sow's ear they started out with. Kids are likely to enjoy the smirky lampoonish style of the film, which riffs on everything from Dragnet to all the action films you've ever seen that end with a slo-mo shot of the hero emerging from the foggy field of battle after the villians have been vanquished.

The imprint of Adam Sandler's Happy Madison Productions is everywhere in evidence here - and as long as this doesn't send you running for the aisles, feel free to take the kiddoes out for an afternoon at the movies.

• Staff
• Verified User
• Anonymous