French Room cook Van Hurd survives contentious Hell’s Kitchen premiere

by Mike Orren

We first started watching Hell's Kitchen some five seasons ago, understanding that it wasn't a place for Top Chefs or for the best of Gordon Ramsay's profanity-laden restaurant advice, but was a passable foodie melodrama while better shows were out of season.

With the season 6 opener, Fox seems to have given up all pretense at having a cooking show, instead opting for a Real World on fois gras and methamphetamines vibe.

An hour and fifty minutes into the double-hour premiere, I would have said that French Room cook Van Hurd was the poster child for Hell's Kitchen 6.0. (He's billed as a fish cook from Buford, Georgia, but has lived in Dallas for some time, having learned his trade at the Art Institute of Dallas.)

Although his cooking wasn't heavily featured (which likely means he was neither outstanding or horrible enough for the editors to highlight), he was clearly positioned as a "character." In episode one, he aw-shucksed about feeling a bit off from drinking in the dorms, amazed at what that champagne could do.

It was in episode two that he really came front-and-center as he was chosen to make tableside scampi for the men's team. And while he didn't try to serve raw shrimp to a pregnant woman like his female counterpart, Tennille, he did manage to trip and spill his way through much of the service, to the chagrin of series regular Maitre d' Jean-Phillipe. When JP tried to correct him for such obvious mistakes as serving the other team's tables, Van went unhinged, bowing up on the smaller Belgian and delivering an appetizer of profanity overheard by the surrounding guests. When Ramsay came to break off the fray, JP cited the language barrier of trying to communicate in English with a Texan.

Yeah, really.

Van must have gotten some Red Bull instead of champagne during the break before his team had to pick someone to be eliminated, as he went on another tirade, threatening to "[Bleep]-up" anyone who suggested he should be eliminated for his poor front of house manners.

But even though Van dominated the episode's WTF commercial-break cliffhangers, he was shown to be a minor leaguer in the off-your-rocker-derby, when already-abrasive ex-Marine Joseph was asked who his team's first nominee for elimination was, and why. He barreled ahead naming both nominees and refusing to say why, and then stripped off his chef's coat and made his way down to start a fistfight with Chef Ramsay for correcting him, repeating his Zen mantra, "I ain't no bitch." The episode came to a screeching halt with a next-episode preview suggesting violence, injury and a fire.

Additional sideshow included the return of last season's portly fave Robert (who frankly doesn't look any healthier than he did when dropping out then). But Van looks like he'll have his hands full standing out in this pack of loonies -- maybe, just maybe he can cook his way through it.

As for me, I'm convinced that Hell's Kitchen has jumped and then sashimi'd the shark. I haven't been so eager for a Local On Reality TV to fall out and leave me to my TIVO since Zayra Alvarez was trying to become a Rock Star.

Hells Kitchen airs on Fox 4 at 7 p.m. on Tuesdays.

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