New café and bakery in Oak Cliff adds Big Island pleasure to land-locked Dallas

by Staff of Gay List Daily

If you like a ukulele, lady, then we have just the spot for you. After years of soaking up the Polynesian sun and surf, Roger Simpson and Jill Inforzato have brought their distinctive luWOW flavors and appropriately thematic décor to Dallas with the opening of Hula Hotties Café & Bakery.

Known for creating Hula Girl Hot Sauce (as seen on Food Network), the duo has expanded the offerings of flavors with a host of Hawaiian-inspired treats and even some hula girl gifts. (Sadly, there wasn’t a single Brady Bunch cursed Tiki necklace to be found.)

Forget the visions of roasted pigs with apples and bowls of wet ashes poi dancing through your head: think sweeter. On the bakery side there are goodies like Macadamia Nut Cookies, Sticky Toffee Bars and the iconic Purple Sweet Potato Pie (we think it’s more of an aubergine).

And for true java connoisseurs, there’s Kona coffee to wash it all down. It’s available by the bag, too, if you need the at-home fix.

Menu items include pupu’s (yes, we giggled like school girls about the name, too) such as Hula Girl Hot Honey Mustard Meatballs or the Okinawa Purple Sweet Potato Ball stuffed with coconut Haupia. For entrees choose among Thanksgiving On A Bun, pulled Kalua turkey with bacon, stuffing, cranberry chutney and sage mayo; the Aloha Nut Burger; or the Saigon Sub, marinated ground pork, spicy mayo, mix greens, pickled veggies, cilantro, mint and basil.

As if breaking your flavor rut wasn’t enough, Hula Hotties also offers entertainment on the weekends and free Wi-Fi. So break out your grass skirts and that hip-shimmy usually reserved for dancing to Beyoncé. We’ll break out the video camera to make sure your big butch dance can be seen on YouTube forevermore.

Mahalo, homo.