Dallas Divas & Daughters schools us on Facebook etiquette and mean mom tactics

by Sarah Blaskovich

DALLAS — This week's rendition of the snobby, bratty, and catty show Dallas Divas & Daughters follows two girls as they go to prom. Instead of spotlighting short snippets of each mother-daughter pair, this week's 30-minute show only brought four of the 10 characters into the spotlight: daughter Chanel, who is asked to the prom by a guy she has a crush on who turns out to be gay; daughter Hannah, who also goes to the prom but makes a grave Facebook mistake that we shall all learn from later; mother Pamela, who thrusts herself into the limelight as the meanest of the mothers; and mother Cindy, the divorcee who can't seem to find a date and is forced to go on-camera having yet another terrible date. The mom who all the other moms hate, Patricia, also shows up here and there, but isn't a major part of the story line.

We start with Chanel, who breaks every old-school prom rule and demands that her mother purchase a short dress instead of a floor-length one. “I'm getting this dress,” she barks. Mom Kenya immediately agrees. “It's always my way,” Chanel says.

Fast-forward a few weeks and we see Chanel in the limo with her prom date, an obviously gay guy who isn't so interested in Chanel. Just before they walk into prom, Chanel confesses she has a crush on him. His reply? “I like boys.” And then a dramatic response from Chanel: “Oh. My. God.” But they seem to get over it and still have fun at the prom.

Then there's Hannah, who's overprotective mother Pamela (the mean mom) requests that her date come to their giant home just before prom. If Pamela doesn't approve of Hannah's date, Hannah won't be allowed to go to the prom that evening. Pamela says hilarious things like, “He has facial hair? You're my delicate baby. You're going out with a guy with facial hair?”

But that's not all. Hannah has gone FBO with another guy the night before prom. So the poor facial-haired prom date now has to impress the parents of a girl who doesn't really like him. (Oh, you don't know what FBO means? Facebook Official, duh. Hannah declared her official relationship status with a guy named Clark even though Mike asked her to prom. Major party foul.) Apparently things didn't go so well, and Hannah spent her prom night crying in the bathroom.

Next, a few of the moms go out to scope out middle-aged Dallas men. They're seen at Mercy wine bar sipping drinks and gossiping about how Patricia is always late. When she finally arrives, Patricia apologizes; she was getting her hair and make-up done, tanning, getting a manicure, etc. Pamela lays it on pretty thick: “She's not as naturally glamorous as we three are,” she says to the other moms. Burn.

The episode is littered with Dallas hot spots like Rich Hippie, Shopaholic, Mercy wine bar, Beverly Hills Nail and Spa, Belo Mansion, Crescent Hotel, and Al Biernat's. These local pop-ups are some of the most enjoyable points of the show; you get a brief reprieve from bitchy women and can experience a hint of nostalgia if you've been to one of these places recently.

Stay tuned next week for serious explanations as to why Hannah has a hickey. Also, Laura has concert tickets, but not enough for all the girls. Who will get left out?

Riveting.

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