Most print publications have experts picking NFL games every week. Pegasus News, however, is different, in that we have near-flawless methodology in picking teams that will actually win. Our panel of perfect prognosticators -- Todd Maternowski and Mike Bullock -- will bring the pain each and every week.
Don't sit there reading this caption, you've got games to bet on!
As an added bonus, we have included three competing methodologies. The first is the return of "Mascot War," in which we discuss which team's actual moniker would win in a pitched battle to the death in the wild. Besides being easily the most controversial aspect of this feature, it will probably also be a constant source of embarrassment as our picks routinely show up.
The second and third methodologies are perhaps equally arcane and mysterious to the average NFL fan. There is the "Occult Pick," in which our experts use the forbidden art of divination to predict each week's winner; and "Fashion War," in which Todd's wife selects each victor based on the relative superiority of each team's uniforms.
Most of these picks need no explanation: However, our panel has provided some commentary (footnotes and indexing to follow) for certain especially difficult-to-pick games.
Todd M: Eagle versus Redskin -- This week's pitched battle to the death comes down the to classic conundrum of Who Scalps Whom First. At first, it would seem to be the Eagle in a wash, with their tremendous aeronautical advantage, sharp talons and stealthy striking ability. With all those tactical advantages, the hapless, earth-bound Redskin would seem to be toast, provided his fearful eyes were not scouring the skies at all times to prevent such a grisly demise. But etymologically, the very notion of the Redskin is someone who, through the trials and tribulations of the warrior life, now has far more sensitive skin than a normal, run-of-the-mill combatant to the death: The mere flap of the Eagle's down feathers can be felt by a Redskin scalp over 50 miles away. Lured to his death by deceptively easy bait, the Bald Eagle becomes the Brained Eagle in this week's natural upset. Redskin over Eagle
