Most print publications have experts picking NFL games every week. Pegasus News, however, is different, in that we have near-flawless methodology in picking teams that will actually win. Our panel of perfect prognosticators -- Todd Maternowski and Mike Bullock -- will bring the pain each and every week.
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As an added bonus, we have included three competing methodologies. The first is the return of "Mascot War," in which we discuss which team's actual moniker would win in a pitched battle to the death in the wild. Besides being easily the most controversial aspect of this feature, it will probably also be a constant source of embarrassment as our picks routinely show up.
The second and third methodologies are perhaps equally arcane and mysterious to the average NFL fan. There is the "Occult Pick," in which our experts use the forbidden art of divination to predict each week's winner; and "Fashion War," in which Todd's wife selects each victor based on the relative superiority of each team's uniforms.
Most of these picks need no explanation: However, our panel has provided some commentary (footnotes and indexing to follow) for certain especially difficult-to-pick games.
Todd M: Viking versus Packer -- In this week's pitched battle to the death, the voracious Viking goes boot-to-galosh with the pugnacious Packer. Which meat-related profession will triumph? While the Viking is known far and wide for his ravenous appetite, gnawing mutton straight off the bone while blood and sinew dribble down his filthy beard -- the far more civilized Packer has made his namesake painstakingly taking entire cows and processing them into small, easy-to-handle packages. Will this be the week mass production and relative cleanliness beats gastroterrorist individualism? Not this time, dontchaknow -- the Viking's swirling, chaotic vortex of maddening mandible mayhem crunches more than turkey legs this week. Viking over Packer
