Video: Spooky Folk spooks Parker House in Lewisville for The Sarah Crisman Show

by Sarah Crisman

LEWISVILLE — The Sarah Crisman Show: Spooky Folk from patrick flaherty on Vimeo.

There's few things I appreciate less than being chased by a chainsaw, even in good fun. So you can imagine my surprise to find myself volunteering to review a haunted house for you, dear reader.

“Question: Can I bring a band?”

Once we got the green light, I grabbed a couple members of Spooky Folk and my trusty camera crew and we made our way to The Parker House in Lewisville. I figured safety in numbers (and the presence of a camera) would ease the adolescent trauma that has kept me from haunted houses, scary movies, and church camp.

The meteorological synchronicity of a severe thunderstorm warning and ominous lightning show set the mood as we waited in line and watched a giant bat creature flail about on the rooftop. Do I find my happy place now or do I let my imagination run wild?

“Just scream,” said Petra Kelly, of Spooky Folk.

That's about how it went. While the story line digressed into random scary scenes (not sure why all those clowns were in the morgue, but they got the job done), there were enough bloodied teenagers jumping out of corners to keep us on edge. The gore was just enough to make me throw up in my mouth (but only a little), and the strobe lights kept me just shy of seizure levels. The worst portion for me came straight out of a recurring nightmare involving a cellar and an approaching storm. I didn't care for that, but at the same time, it didn't carry the lasting psychological damage of Hell House (no abortion scenes or prayer rooms -- win). All in all, we had a good time. There were enough giggles to eventually balance out the screams.

Word of caution: Don't run when the chainsaw guy comes after you. The walls are much closer than they appear.