Most print publications have experts picking NFL games every week. Pegasus News, however, is different, in that we have near-flawless methodology in picking teams that will actually win. Our panel of perfect prognosticators -- Todd Maternowski and Mike Bullock -- will bring the pain each and every week.
As an added bonus, we have included three competing methodologies. The first is the return of "Mascot War," in which we discuss which team's actual moniker would win in a pitched battle to the death in the wild. Besides being easily the most controversial aspect of this feature, it will probably also be a constant source of embarrassment as our picks routinely show up.
State-of-the-art graphics? Check. Flawless picking methology? Double check.
The second and third methodologies are perhaps equally arcane and mysterious to the average NFL fan. There is the "Occult Pick," in which our experts use the forbidden art of divination to predict each week's winner; and "Fashion War," in which Todd's wife selects each victor based on the relative superiority of each team's uniforms.
Most of these picks need no explanation: However, our panel has provided some commentary (footnotes and indexing to follow) for certain especially difficult-to-pick games.
Todd M: 49er versus Viking -- The classic battle of Who's the Better Plunderer comes to the blood-soaked battlefields of Minneapolis this week. Which heartless gold-digger will win in a pitched battle to the death? Will it be the 49er, with his array of pick, shovel, and homicidal desperation? Or will the Viking's longsword, spear, and spikey helmets prevail? Both are to be feared; both carved out empires in their heyday. But while the 49ers conquered the Eden-esque area between San Francisco and Donner Pass, the Vikings ruled over the s&%t sandwich that was jolly olde England, as well as sacking and pillaging Rome itself. Viking over 49er
Mike B: Redskin versus Lion -- This week's match-up between the Redskin from Washington and the Lion from Detroit will be a gruesome one. Both mascots are fierce hunters: The Redskin lives off the land and knows how to hunt his prey. The Lion is the king of the jungle and has instilled fear into all others. The Redskins are preparing weapons and consulting the Gods, while the Lion is licking their chops and waiting in their den. When the Redskin arrives, they study the Lion and and wait for them to sleep. The Lion is full of confidence and thinks very little of their enemy. Finally, the time for battle has come. The Redskin moves in on the Lion as if they are walking on air. He draws the Lion's attention when he belts out his battle cry. The Lion awakes and pounces towards the Redskin, ripping the flesh from his bones. The Redskin come at the Lion from all angles throwing tomahawks and blowing poisonous darts. The Lion is simply out matched by their weaponry. Finally, the Lion becomes too weak to battle anymore and falls at the feet of the Redskin. Redskin over Lion
