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Thursday, November 18, 2010

Part 3 of Gigging for God: One local musician’s personal story


Yes, I still go to church. But no, I don’t play church music. Not anymore.

This is a series about church musicians, some who have lost their jobs in the recent economy. We explore what rules musicians should be asked to follow when playing in church. And how important is the “God” aspect, especially for the musicians trying to make a buck? We explore this and many other stories in this three-part series. Read Part 1 and Part 2.

Church music is in my blood. My mother was the organist in the Southern Baptist church in Alvin, Texas, where I grew up, and routine practice and rehearsals became commonplace in our household. When my church’s youth group decided to have musicians lead the worship portion of the youth meetings, I took up the bass guitar so I could play with my friends. It also had a few other perks: Even at the age of 15, your cool level rises to obscene levels when you're standing on a stage performing in front of other people. My friends were the rock stars of my youth group, and I couldn’t stand not being a part of it. As is the case with almost any band, being in the youth band was cool.

I played church music from my mid-teens until my late 20s. Then I played throughout college and into my adult life, mostly for the same reasons I started: It was fun being creative with my friends, it felt great to be on stage, and I believed in what we were doing. With all the services, summer camps, and retreats, I estimate that I’ve played in front of more than 10,000 people in my church music career – not too shabby.

But, I stopped playing in churches about 5 years ago.

Everyone has a breaking point. Mine was getting fired in the middle of the sermon, like some employee who was let go so the company could go in a “different direction.” The newly-hired music minister required a large salary, and we paid musicians had to go. Only, we didn't know it until we heard the news right in the middle of a service, which meant we still had to go out and play again during the invitation. (For the uninitiated, the invitation is where you are asked to make a life decision based on the sermon.) I still can’t decide if the minister was displaying an incredible amount of trust in us, or stupidity, to fire someone and then give them an open microphone right in front of the church's biggest customers. In spite of the golden opportunity, we didn’t cause a scene.

I haven’t stepped foot in that church since.

The thing is, gigging in a church is a job. It's an unfair mix of personal and professional with nothing but gray areas. And every job – when treated like a job – has its drawbacks. Sometimes you love your job, but your boss makes you so miserable you quit. Other times, people just can’t take the day-to-day minutia that many take without a second thought. Likewise, playing music at a church has similar conditions. From what I understand, some churches, like Fellowship Church and Prestonwood Baptist, pay professional musicians very handsomely because they believe quality is important, and they understand that you have to pay for quality. As a trade off, those musicians are not expected to be members or adhere to any type of morality clause. It’s strictly a business transaction, but one based on a mutual understanding.

Other churches, like the one I used to belong to, put little concern in the quality of music. They paid us poorly, if at all, despite the fact that the main music minister makes nearly six figures. What’s more, this particular church does require church membership and holds the musicians to certain standards of behavior, although it was undisclosed upon hiring. (As a quick example, some church musicians I played with were reported to the church elders for attending an R-rated party. Those accused had left before the party took an ungodly turn, but the musicians were still thought to have been part of the shenanigans, which supposedly caused "spiritual confusion" in the witness. They were suspended without pay -- a business move, if you will, but one that smacks of a corporate mentality where bad press needs to be snuffed out, regardless of reality).

By this point, you may notice something is missing. What about playing music to worship God? you may ask. Or, Playing church music shouldn’t be about feeling cool or making money. Well, you’d be right and wrong. One can’t forget a central truth: A church is a business. This truth runs afoul to what we’re conditioned to think about an ideal church. It’s there to love, to feed the poor, to fight against injustice, or to lead others to Truth. But, it’s also there to make money. In order to do all that other stuff, there has to be a cash flow. And sometimes, a business has to make decisions for the bottom line or to appease its customers in the pews.

Now I don’t expect, or need, a “perfect church” free of all the foibles of humanity. I’m not naive enough to believe that’s possible. But instead of focusing on the idealistic roles of the church, there’s often the selfishness of politics and popularity that sours the simple opportunity to serve. That’s why I now find that work impossible.

That two-pronged affront – dealing with the cold business aspects of church, as well as personal agendas – was just too much for me to handle. I’ve had offers to play in churches from time to time, but I grew tired of banging my head against the wall, of wanting it to mean something but realizing that it just didn’t, not on any truly authentic level. For me, a local musician who both believes in God and earns income through local music gigs, I believe it's possible to straddle the line between church business and church worship. I’m just not willing to live in that gray area and I’ve lost the will to fight against the reality of the situation.

Yes, I still go to church. But no, I don’t play church music. Not anymore.



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mparsons , anonymous:

I love this. Very heart felt and honest. Thanks for sharing Andy!

2 years, 6 months ago
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Neff Conner, verified:

Enlightening article, thank you sir.

2 years, 6 months ago
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Scott Doyle, verified:

Gigging for God

Am I doing this right?

2 years, 6 months ago
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theinfamousjaywe, anonymous:

Wow. I'm a 26-year-old musician from New Orleans, and I find myself in the same boat. Played music all my life, since I was three, and my father was a pastor, which means I basically went straight from the womb to the stage. Sad to say, but there are a LOT of churches around here like the one you mentioned. A good friend of mine got fired from a local mega church the exact same way, and he was expected to finish playing the service and cause no scene. The pastor seriously tried to sugarcoat it with religious banter like, "we're going to release him to his next level of destiny" and the like and even had the congregation clap for the decision, as if it was a mutually agreed upon arrangement. Another friend of mine from another contemporary church was fired by them sticking a letter in his check, telling him he was fired from that day over some erroneous gossip from some messy members. No one even had the decency to tell him to his face or verify the rumors. That is the very same one I'm about to leave now, and they've committed more back room evils than I could mention in this comment. For the longest, it really tainted my view of Christianity in total, and I almost completely gave up on God and the true church for the grief of His so-called servants, but eventually, I found the answers I needed, and what you said is exactly where I am now. I have perfect pitch, excellent skill, went to college for it, and everyone I know is 100% assured this is what I'm supposed to be doing for the rest of my life, but I really can't deal with that gray area anymore. I know the Bible, and I know the difference between what we commonly see and what is supposed to be, which is already grievous enough without all the back room drama. As of now, I'm getting things together with my family to move out to Houston and pursue a degree in accounting and a CPA license. Yes, I may eventually attend another church, but I just can't be a part of that section getting horribly mistreated for the sake of "ministry". You seriously put my thoughts and feelings into a concise package, and I couldn't have said it any better.

8 months, 2 weeks ago
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kelljm, anonymous:

I am a band leader in a rapidly growing church in a major southern city. I do not accept pay. Several band members, who are also church members, also do not accept pay. We do hire a few guys every week to fill out the group. I have spent 15 years playing for little churches, big churches, youth camps, funerals, wedding, you name it. I have been paid handsomely without asking, and I have been straight up lied to and used. I say this to say: Don't put your faith in man. Man will let you down, every time. Do what you do as service to the Lord, and let Him sort out the rest.

6 months, 1 week ago
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