Season premiere recap: Dallas Cowboy Cheerleaders: Making the Team

by Paula Sanders of The Assignment Desk, DFW

If your thighs are spread out all over that screen like pink peanut butter, you can just about hang it up.

Photo by Linda McKinney

Cowboys cheerleaders

DALLAS — For the first episode of CMT’s Dallas Cowboy Cheerleaders: Making the Team, we expected to see a lot of pretty girls with a lot of pretty tears. Cha-ching!

More than 700 hundred girls stood in the shadows of the beautiful, brand new Cowboys Stadium, hoping to soon grace the field clad in the classic uniform, wowing the crowd with their curls, twirls, and girls. (The push-up bra does wonders.)

There were plenty of perfectly shaped, bleached blond dancing damsels, all performing for the judges, including director of the Dallas Cowboy Cheerleaders, Kelli “You will never be this cute” Finglass; choreographer Judy “Do I look like I’m playin’?” Trammel; and beefcake trainer Jay “Personal trainer of pain” Johnson.

Every contestant says they've been dreaming of being a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader since they were little girls. It's the chance of a lifetime. Trammel gives the girls a reality check. “Dreams are gonna be made. Or we’re gonna break their hearts,” she said.

Trammel and and Finglass studied the galloping group of girls intently as they were plastered across the 72 feet high by 160 feet wide screen. Let’s face it, some girls just are “HD ready.” If your thighs are spread out all over that screen like pink peanut butter, you can just about hang it up.

Although a few contestants didn’t get the memo that physical fitness and dancing skills were required, I lift my glass of Moscato to the few passionately plump performers who threw caution (and a workout regimens) to the wind and maneuvered their moves before the stone faced judges. It was reminiscent of the classic Chippendale dance off battle between the two late greats: Chris Farley and Patrick Swayze.

As the premiere of the reality show went on, Finglass channeled Jerry Maguire and told the girls earnestly, “Help me, find you.” The smiles on the faces of the cheering hopeful could have lit up the Dallas skyline as they merged into the semi-finals. One by one, their numbers are called as shock, disappointment, and excitement circulated and the hopefuls came one high-kick closer to their dream.

At this point, we wonder, does the audience care? Have we as the viewing public connected with any of the contestants? Is it enough to keep me watching next week? It is tempting to see the finalists pitted against the “real” Dallas Cowboy Cheerleaders, but it's tough to take in a show that further reminds us it's time to hit the gym.