Review: Charlie Sheen’s Dallas performance was surprisingly sincere

by Sarah Blaskovich

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It didn't matter if Sheen was funny or crazy. It mattered if he bombed -- and he didn't.

Posted by Flickr user rebeldigital

DALLAS — In Dallas at least, Charlie Sheen's Violent Torpedo of Truth tour was not a train wreck. It was occasionally funny, mostly puzzling, and surprisingly sentimental – but it was not the colossal collapse that was expected.

Sheen, “the most Googled man in the world,” according to an introduction by Dallas radio show host Kidd Kraddick, was surprisingly lucid in a performance more akin to a talk show than a comedy tour.

Sheen roused the crowd at first by entering from the back of the American Airlines Center, giving high-fives as he made his way to the stage. He was ultra-casual in a Mavericks zip-up, a Mavericks tee, cotton pants, and sneakers. The four men in front of me made a drinking game out of every time Sheen said “winning,” and by the end of the performance, they, too, were winning.

Sheen dropped the necessary catch-phrases early on, talking about how “losing is for losers” and “winning is for winners” and “f—k Detroit.” But once he'd appeased the crowd – and thrown out the obligatory t-shirts and lit a few cigarettes – the show took a much more normal tone. In fact, Sheen is not crazy, if his stop in Dallas is any indication.

Though the performance was slow -- very slow -- it wasn't for lack of caring on Sheen's part. He was interviewed by Kraddick in a segment that was not entertaining, but Kraddick quickly left the stage and Sheen played his YouTube spoof of the 20/20 interview. (If you haven't seen it, it's hilarious.) From there, Sheen brought audience members up on stage so they could get advice from the warlock, which ended up with him (and us) making fun of most speakers for asking asinine questions in front of thousands of people. He gave answers like "follow your heart" and shooed them off stage.

Then Sheen had a novel assessment. He believed people didn't want to come up on stage to legitimately ask the world's best winner's advice; they just wanted to be near him. And that became a good capstone for the evening: It wasn't about how funny or crazy Sheen was, because he wasn't really either. It was just the chance to say you were there.

And, perhaps, to buy a “WINNING” t-shirt.