Burger review: Clown Burger in Haltom City

by Matthew Hudson of Burger Saturday

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If you like a well-priced burger and do not get freaked out by clowns, then you should give this place a try.

We have gotten votes for Clown Burger to be in the Top 10 from fans and have hesitated to review it since it “technically” is not Fort Worth, but sometimes it has a Fort Worth address and sometimes not. But owner Bill Louthan was not available to settle the debate. So here we go.

This place definitely suits the old “hole-in-the-wall” category. Original building, original decor. I believe Elvis may have eaten here. And the sign out front is vintage cool.

You enter and go to the back to stand in line and place your order at the counter. There are no menus, just the boards on the wall. The tables were faux wood and the walls were covered with handmade signs from softball teams. Whereas sometimes these places have charm from being old and looking like the furniture and fixtures had been there for 25 years, in this place it just looked old (and a little creepy).

The wait staff were all behind the counter. They took your order and then when your order was ready, the kitchen called out your name to come and pick up your grub.

The menu was all about burgers. Nice. But here was the rub – the patties, while all beef, were just 1/6 lb! That means a double cheeseburger was just 1/3 lb and so on. We ordered the double (thinking we were overeating) and realized after we got it how small the patties were.

Of course, no need to ask to have the burger cooked medium here. They boast about their “giant” burger with six patties, but that is only one pound (not saying one pound of meat is not a lot, just saying they make it sound like the 72 oz. steak in West Texas or something you might find on Man Vs Food). I think Adam Richman would call this giant burger a “slider.”

The burger tasted fresh and amazingly enough had some juice. But the experience was just above fast food, and in the Burger Saturday world, you need to be way above.

The waiter did not know what kind of beef they served, so sorry that we cannot report on that. The burger was served wrapped in white paper on a red table tray – which made it feel like a fast food joint. (It was very much like Griffs.) It comes with lettuce, pickles, white onions, and tomato. It will come with mustard unless you order other sauces (ketchup, mayo, etc.) The bun was a disappointment. It brought nothing to the party – just plain old white bread bun that was lightly toasted. The fries were skin-on and fresh, but had little flavor and could use some seasoning.

They serve no fountain Diet Coke (everything is in a bottle or can) and no tea.

All in all, we were not impressed with our burger experience at Clown Burger. And, frankly, with all the creepy clowns on the walls and the sign out front, you really need a burger that will blow you away to get over it. However, the prices at this place were very reasonable. So if you like a well-priced burger and do not get freaked out by clowns, then you should give this place a try. It is one joint that everyone should try if you are a Burger Saturday fan. It really fits what we are all about – (except for the amazing burger part).

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