Thursday, March 31, 2011
Thursday Morning Cupcheck - Are the playoffs overrated?
For you Oilers fans, these "playoffs" are a bunch of games that occur after the regular season is over.
Good morning, hockey fans! Last week we questioned Dallas Stars captain Brenden Morrow's ability to lead his way out of a wet paper bag; four straight losses later, we're feeling as vindicated as Indy when he told that chick not to look at the Ark of the Covenant. KA-CHING! They give out some sort of award for being right on the internet, right?
This week, with the Stars needing an Act of God to qualify for the postseason --either that, or a healthy Adam Burish, considering the Stars are now 2-14 without him-- it's time to take a step back, stop the maniacal screaming and get some fresh perspective on things. Would missing the postseason really be all that bad?
Without bothering to ask the experts in Atlanta and Florida, I've compiled a list of pro's and con's to making the playoffs.
Pro: Playoff games earn teams boatloads of cash.
Con: In these tough economic times, it may be more civically responsible to have fans keep their hard-earned boatloads of cash.
Pro: Playoffs often result in championships, which allow fans to feel good about themselves for an entire year.
Con: 15 of the 16 teams that make the playoffs have their seasons end with a soul-crushing loss, which forces fans to feel bad about themselves for an entire lifetime.
Pro: The ultimate goal of any sport is to win championships, and it's hard to do that without making the postseason.
Con: The ultimate goal of any self-respecting male is to eat cheetos and play Xbox, which is hard to do when your coach is constantly telling you to show up to all those extra postseason games.
Pro: The playoffs are where legends are made, where glory is earned and eternal renown is earned.
Con: Quick-- without looking, who was the single best player in the NHL playoffs in 1997? Yeah.. didn't think so. Go ahead now, you can look. Wikipedia it and weep, my friend.
Pro: The Stanley Cup is the coolest trophy in all of sports.
Pro: A player's window of opportunity to win a Stanley Cup is short.
Con: All the more reason to get those extra few months of golf practice in this summer. At least that's not going away when you turn 30.
Pro: Multiple Stanley Cups assure you a place in the Hockey Hall of Fame.
Con: Tickets to the Hall of Fame aren't really all that expensive.
Pro: Winning a championship will endear you to your city's fans forever.
Con: Your city's fans are vastly outnumbered by the combined fanbases of the other 29 teams, who will hate you forever.
Pro: Every second on the ice is another cherished moment getting paid to play the sport you love.
Con: Every second on the golf course is another cherished moment where you don't have to look behind you and see Chris Pronger's elbows approaching your head at twenty miles per hour.
Pro: In the playoffs, anything can happen, and often does.
Con: Just give the Cup to the Red Wings again, nobody cares anymore.
Pro: The postseason is the best time for players to finally get rid of their personal demons.
Con: Unless you're the Canucks or Sharks, you mean, right?
Pro: Wait-- why the hell are we even discussing this?! Playoffs Playoffs Playoffs Playoffs!!!
Con: Oh, I'm sorry, I wasn't listening. Would you like a cup of inevitable failure?