Movie review: Twelve Thirty

by John P. Meyer

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Can Jeff survive his carnal encounters with the three women in this family with his psyche intact?

In order to understand why writer/director Jeff Lipsky titled his new film Twelve Thirty, you're going to have to watch it — and watch it pretty carefully, I might add.

When I spoke with Lipsky on the phone (see interview), I had to ask him about the title because I missed it — and while he was kind enough to explain it to me, he went on to say that he doesn't like to make things too obvious for his audience. So I'm not going to give you the answer, but here's a clue: the title's origin is revealed at the beginning of the film's final, poignant, flashback scene.

Regardless of the enigmatic title, Twelve Thirty proves to be an example of what I liked so much about another of Lipsky's films: Flannel Pajamas. Which is this: the actors in the movie don't seem so much to be acting as they are just living out the events of the day. Sometimes while naked, by the by. What makes the nudity in Lipsky's films particularly jarring is the fact that his actors remain so chatty after their clothes come off. In most films, disrobing is a signal for the dialog to cease — or at least become monosyllabic. Not in Lipsky's film world; if anything, his naked characters turn even more loquacious than they are to begin with.

Jeff (Jonathan Groff) is working up the nerve to ask his high school crush Mel (Portia Reiners) out on a date. They're preparing to leave the restaurant where they both work, and she's relating a seemingly far-fetched and in no way flattering tale about how she got the chance to read her short story in front of the senior class during an assembly. It involves bribery and the long-term, calculated theft of money from her parents.

Awkward, virginal Jeff is probably thinking to himself: Hey, this makes her a bad girl, doesn't it? ALL RIGHT!

For their picnic outing, he directs Mel (with her driving) to a rural chapel called the Church of the Open Door. When the door to the church proves to be — you guessed it — locked, the two spend time ambling around the deserted pastoral grounds, engaging in the sort of stream of consciousness conversation with which fans of My Dinner With Andre will be familiar.

"What don't you like about yourself?", Mel asks him.

"Loneliness," he replies.

But Mel's fishing for something more specific and personal, and so Jeff makes a leap of faith and tells her that he fears he may suffer from Peyronie's disease (a severe curvature of the penis) — not to mention varicose veins in the scrotum.

O.K. then. With that revelation under his belt, Jeff hangs on nervously while Mel drives them back to her house. She mentions how she used to get all weak-kneed and rapturous at the sight of him soaked in sweat after track team practice. When she makes it clear that no one else will be home for several hours, Jeff does the only thing he can think of and takes off for a brisk lap or two around the block so he can work up a sweat. By the time he returns, he finds Mel waiting for him in her bedroom — in presenting posture. (Mel's not much for foreplay, we discover.)

"You don't have Peyronie's disease," she assures him, looking back over her shoulder.

The next day, it appears that Jeff's studly luck has run its all-too-brief course, as his attempts to pin down Mel for another date are rebuffed one after another. He's confronted her at her post behind the hostess podium of their restaurant workplace; while Mel explains that their afternoon hookup had best be viewed as an enjoyable and memorable one-off event, a pair of elderly ladies approach to be seated.

Eve (Barbara Barrie) and Katherine (Rebecca Schull) are outgoing tourists from England, and they invite the two squabbling lovers to join them at their table. This provides a welcome opportunity for Mel to continue the process of letting Jeff down easily, while — in terms of the narrative — we as filmgoers find ourselves diverted and charmed by a glimpse into the characters of this eccentric and colorful couple, founders of the first ever museum of keys in the U.K.

The interlude with the two British ladies ends up being nothing more than an episodic diversion — for Jeff, an uncomfortable one, as he ponders a resumption of his celibate lifestyle, all the while attempting to appear interested in their conversation.

But he needn't worry, because he's about to meet Mel's older sister Maura (Mamie Gummer) at a party, and by lying about his relationship with Mel (and spinning an odd story about Arnold Palmer) sweep her off her feet. Or, at least, into a nearby broom closet — where a sexual encounter of dubious consensual character will occur.

Remarkably, there's a third woman in the household Jeff has yet to encounter: Mel and Maura's mother Vivien. She may be older, but she still looks fetching in her underwear. When she informs Jeff that Mel isn't around, he finds himself listening raptly to her description of why she loves selling animal furs ("Touch the furs," she coos). He's beginning to think he might get lucky yet a third time within the bloodline of this bizarre family.

As Vivien, Karen Young proves to be the sexiest and most enthralling character in the story. Her liquid voice and unabashed sensuality — combined with the dissipation conferred by her alcoholism — are a gut-level turn-on. Reed Birney plays Martin, Vivien's estranged husband (and the girls' father), who now lives with another man but still finds occasion to revisit the bed of the person he says gives him the "best sex ever."

The climax of the film occurs as the entire family gathers around the dinner table to confront Jeff about what he's allegedly done to Maura. The punishment schema that Martin — standing in as head of the family — lays out for him seems illogically geared toward putting the onus on Maura. That is, unless Jeff steps up to accept accountability for his actions.

One thing's for sure: if he ever extracts himself from this crazy family with his psyche intact, Jeff will be better-prepared to deal with whatever relationship situations confront him in the future. What a learning experience!

To find movie showtimes for Twelve Thirty, click here.

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