Monday, April 30, 2012
Recap: Big Rich Texas, Season 2, Episode 10 (season finale)
It’s dangerous to screw with delusional people.
Sunday night marked the 20th hour of your life spent watching Dallas’ philanthropic elite become the most misrepresented group of people since the Salem witch trials. But that’s what happens when a production company based in L.A. recruits trash talkin’ women from Oregon, Collin County, and a few rental properties in Dallas, throws ‘em in a Fort Worth country club and claims they run the 9th largest city in America, under the leadership of Heidi Dillon, a woman from Minnesota who uses the word booger.
I keep thinking a real Dallas socialite will swoop in and set things straight, like Batman in Louboutins. But Lynn McBee must be busy or she’d totally jump on this.
Style Network’s Big Rich Texas finale begins in Santa Monica where Pamela has made an unexpected appearance at Hannah’s apartment. She wants to see Hannah’s report card, something that clearly can’t be scanned and e-mailed, sent via United States Postal Service, or accessed online. Hannah produces proof of high grades so Duarte moves on to the real reason for her trip, to get rid of Whitney.
Pam, you got here just in time, check out Hannah’s neglected highlights.
Cut to Bonnie’s place where she’s recovering from multiple cosmetic procedures she didn’t need. I’d say the money she spent having her face remodeled would have been better spent taking care of this tragic front door situation. Bon, rich people don’t have blinds covering their main entry. And when less affluent people do choose such, they secure the lower portion to the wood in order to avoid the swinging commotion that’s been driving us crazy all season.
Leslie has come to check on the patient and bring flowers. Not the kind from Cebolla, the kind from the grocery store with pink balloons attached. Jason calls Bonnie a mutant and Leslie agrees with his assessment.
Back in Santa Monica, Hannah tells Pam that Whit is planning to get a boob job. Duarte pretends to be unfamiliar with cosmetic surgery.
It really makes me sick that Whitney feels like she has to have surgery to feel beautiful or to feel good about herself.
Said the woman returning for season 2 with a different face.
Next, Leslie meets LeeAnne Locken at J Black’s Feel Good Lounge. They discuss the success of Leslie’s bling event. Locken tells Leslie that she’d like to nominate her to the Fashionistas board. There’s one catch though; the board must approve Leslie with a unanimous vote. But there’s still hope, “Heidi has the ability to overrule anything on the board.”
Which negates the fundamental necessity of a board but good for Leslie.
Back in California, Hannah refuses to kick her friend to the curb so Pamela volunteers.
I have to be the bad guy and I really don’t like being the bad guy.
But Pam, you’re so good at it.
Duarte breaks the news to Whit explaining the high likelihood that she’d negatively influence Hannah. Whitney makes no mention of Hannah’s arrest record. But it’s not even just the possibility that Whit could get Hannah in trouble, Pam doesn’t want Hannah impacted by Whit’s body image issues.
No wonder Whitney thinks looking fake is normal, look at her mother.
Take a look at Hannah’s mother, Duarte. Seriously, you’re practically begging us to refocus on your mysterious age reversal.
Whitney is about to be homeless and weighs her options, “I don’t know where I’m going to go but I’m not going home where I’m treated like a child.” Yeah, Whitney, I don’t think that’s an option anyway. Remember, you’re 24 and sponging off your 18 year old friend because mom booted you. But hold on, things are about to be looking up.
Over a goodbye dinner on the eve of Pam’s departure, Hannah makes a pouty face and Duarte agrees that Whitney can stay as long as she gets a job, not the boob kind. Pam explains her inner struggle: Hannah’s well being vs. her intense hate for Bonnie. As usual, evil is rationalized.
Sending Whitney back to Bonnie seems really mean.
She tells the girls, “Maybe being 2,000 miles away from your mother isn’t so bad.” For Hannah.
Whitney pinky promises Pam she’ll be good and then high-fives Hannah across the table. Done deal, Hannah will be covered in tattoos by Thanksgiving.
Next, Connie makes her way past the swinging window treatments to visit Bon and her bandaged face. Con mentions the stuff leaking from Bonnie’s nose and then lets her know about the upcoming party to celebrate the grand reopening of her store, Uptown Consignment. The excitement over partying between racks of used clothing is interrupted by a call from Whitney.
Whit lets Bon know that Pam gave her some good advice and is letting her stay with Hannah. Bonnie reminds Whitney, “You realize that Pam’s only motive is to piss me off.”
Whitney pulls the bow, positions her arrow, and launches, sending this straight from the west coast to Bon’s kitchen.
You know what, you need to get over your beef with Pam because she’s actually helping me out unlike you because you kicked me out.
Whitney hangs up and Bon turns to Connie.
Bonnie: What the hell did Pam say to my daughter?
Connie: I don’t know but she doesn’t need to be parenting your daughter when you’re trying to teach her a lesson, that’s bulls***.
Cut to the Fashionistas board meeting where LeeAnne pulls Heidi aside and tells her she’ll be nominating Leslie today. Because this is the kind of thing that’s typically mentioned just minutes before Robert’s Rules of Order are underway.
I want you to be really aware of today what happens when I nominate her because Pam is the one who always brings the drama out and makes it ugly.
Heidi gives her blessing. Which is great because Leslie is already at the meeting.
While board members are mingling, Pam enters with Melissa. Mel explains, “After Leslie’s Bling is the New Blah event, Pam asked me to join the Fashionistas to bring a little more class to the group.”
Word travels fast. Dan, President of the Fashionistas, lets Pam know that Leslie will be nominated for the board in today’s meeting.
I’ve been out in California and apparently the whole damn world has lost their mind. If she thinks I’m gonna let her on this board, she’s dumber than I thought she was.
Pam turns lobbyist, heads straight for Dillon and ever so eloquently states her case.
Pam: I’ve just been informed that LeeAnne has nominated our fraud visitor here in Texas to the board of the Fashionistas.
Heidi: That is correct.
Pam: I’m surprised that you would even consider that.
Heidi: Well she did do a great job on the event so let’s see where it goes.
Pam: I can tell you this woman is a fraud. She’s a slimy snail.
Heidi: You know, for me, I need to separate what, you know, people’s personal and petty drama and what is real and legitimate and going to be something that’s divisive.
Dillon, you need to work on your lines but I think we get the gist of it. Can you just tell her to shut up?
Heidi: I think you need to step back, calm down.
Pam: It’s hard for me to step back and calm down with this person in this room right now.
Talk about fast. The first item on the agenda is to address the nomination of Leslie. LeeAnne is asked to present Les to the group. She compliments the bling party and goes on to use the word “mogul” which is always risky when talking about a reality show cast member. Pam and Melissa roll their eyes and make faces like Locken is their homeroom teacher.
Leslie thanks LeeAnne and the board for considering her. Dan reminds everyone that the vote must be unanimous and begins the election by asking all those in favor to, “So signify by raising your right arm.” Suspenseful music beats in the background while hands are raised.
Dan continues by asking for those opposed. Pam so signifies with her arm in the air.
Dillon: OK, this is a good opportunity for Pam to express what her objections are.
Duarte: Well basically in a nutshell she’s a member at my country club and she’s caused a lot of problems within our country club. Leslie is not who she says she is and I firmly believe that she is not good for this organization.
Leslie: All you say is I’m a fraud and a con but you’ve never been specific, just tell us.
Duarte: I, I, I, I’m not gonna have this conversation with you right now Leslie.
Dillon: We really need to have some disclosure about what has been going on between you and Leslie so that we know because…
Duarte: I’m not going to vote for her, absolutely not.
Dillon: Pam, is there any possibility that you could put your feelings aside?
Duarte: It’s her or me.
Well Dan, you heard her. Since you already have a glass of champagne in hand, go ahead and toast to Pam’s future and send her back to Plano.
Dillon: I wonder if there’s anyway we can have some documentation from people about the grievances you seem to have with Leslie to back up what your problem is, then we could look at those and get together as a board and get a resolution on that.
Heidi suggests tabling the vote for a few weeks.
The meeting adjourns and Pam tells Melissa, “This bitch is going down.” Melissa offers to help.
And with only 12 minutes remaining in season 2 as Connie’s reopening party begins, it looks like it’ll be going down at Uptown Consignment. Everyone shows up complimenting Conn’s new place before Pam starts hurling insults.
Pam: Oh my God, what the hell is on Bonnie’s nose it looks like a panty liner.
Connie tells Bon that Pam was just talking about how she went to California and “saved” Whitney.
Bonnie: Saved her?
Connie: Yeah, from you.
Patience is a virtue but Bon doesn’t have it. She immediately heads over to Pam and begins the type of confrontation finales are made of.
Bonnie: You’re telling everyone that you’re saving Whitney.
Pam: Yeah, kind of.
Bonnie: I kicked her out because I need to teach her a lesson and you’re a meddling bitch.
Pam: I’m not a meddling bitch.
Bonnie points and Pam knocks her hand out the way. Get her, Bonnie.
It’s loud and all of Connie’s guests are looking on. Except Heidi who leaves without goodbyes when the drama starts. Good thing it’s a used clothing store.
Duarte: I don’t agree with your parenting style.
Bon: I don’t agree with yours.
Duarte: You’re a piece of sh**.
Bon: No, I’m a PhD, I’m not a piece of sh**.
Duarte: You’re a dumb PhD.
Duarte: You’re training your daughter to not like herself. You want her to feel like she needs plastic surgery.
Bon: Oh really, maybe I’m against it.
Duarte: You’re standing here with a f***ing new nose and you’re against it?
Bon: You have one too.
Duarte: I don’t have it. We were talking about parenting here. Are you too stupid to talk about parenting?
Les jumps in and sticks up for Bonnie. Melissa is still carrying some bitter feelings for Leslie after the pregnancy/pageant scandal. Leslie calls Melissa “Pam’s little minion” so Mel takes the high road, throws her drink in Leslie’s face and heads to the couch to bring us up to speed.
I usually don’t waste good champagne like that but Leslie deserved it. Leslie, you better watch your back from now on because you have messed with the wrong woman.
Back to Duarte and all her elegance standing at the front of the store, addressing all of the guests.
You’re a piece of sh**. You’re jealous. You’re an idiot. And you can all f*** off. I’m so sick of you guys, I’m done with you. Go to hell. All of your ridiculousness is done. I’m sick of it.
Bonnie, are you going to let her close the season like that? Didn’t think so.
You know what b****, take your camel toe and get the f*** out of here.
Oh wait. Pam will fight for the last word after all. From the couch, Duarte is composed.
I have way too much class to be surrounded by these losers anymore.
There’s a lot to point out about that statement. But it’s dangerous to screw with delusional people.
Pegasus News Content partner - Merritt Patterson