The X List: Top 10 Papal Tweets

by Todd Maternowski

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4chan's hackers can't wait to issue some timely Papal Bulls in 2013.

Alea iacta est: The Catholic Church has officially joined the 21st century. While Pope Benedict XVI has no plans to issue a holy tweet until mid-December, we at Pegasus slipped an extra $20 in our latest indulgence and were given exclusive access into the Papal cybermind. Here is the definitive list of the top 10 tweets the Pope will issue over the next few decades.

#1: 31 million followers? That's it, I'm praying to Him for another flood.

#2: WHOSE READY FOR SOME EPHESIANS?!!?!!!!!!!!!

#3: John Calvin is that guy from One Direction, right?

#4: Yes, @dantesinfernblows, even my hacked twitter spam is infallible. Viagara has many sacred uses. #findoutmore

#5: If Martin Luther had limited his b**ching to 140 characters, a lot of this BS could have been avoided.

#6: Why do so many of you ask me if I'm a lizard?

#7: You all should see the size of this dump I just excommunicated.

#8: I'm petitioning our Lord to make a new ring in Hell for Hataz.

#9: The official Papal MySpace page should be up and running by Easter 2014!!

#10: kate upton nun bathing costume attractive

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